Activities-Based #AdventCalendar (#Autism)

Last year, I switched to an activities-based Advent Calendar. In 2012, I realized how silly the chocolate-filled, store-bought Advent calendar was for three reasons:

1. the chocolate is cheap and tastes awful
2. my kids are at their dad’s every other weekend so that means I just throw out the chocolate from those days (why can’t Lindor make an advent calendar?!!)
3. (and more importantly) my son doesn’t eat chocolate so he didn’t participate

This meant that every morning, my daughter would eat a yucky piece of chocolate while my son ignored the whole lead up to Christmas.

When the opportunity to make an Advent Calendar came up last year through a local mom’s group, I jumped at the chance. We all know that I’m not a crafty person so, when the mom leading the workshop put the canvas and all the materials down in front of me and told me to “just start”, I looked at her with a blank expression and asked her “how?”. Thankfully, because I’ve known her for years, I wasn’t offended when she looked at me as if I had three heads. 😉

After getting over my initial fear, and her showing me how to do some things, I jumped in. Three hours later, our new Advent Calendar was created and ready for use!

My daughter was hesitant last year, because she thought she would miss the chocolate but, a few days into the Advent Calendar, she was hooked. This year, she kept telling me how excited she was about the Advent Calendar this year. She even squealed with glee on the weekend about it starting today…and then she didn’t even notice it when she got up this morning. She asked me about it so I looked above her head, then she jumped up and squealed again. Tonight’s activity is to make a snowflake craft. I’ll post pictures on social media throughout the month of the activities we’ll be doing.

Also, people have asked for it so, here’s an “Autism-approved” list of activities that my family can manage for the Advent Calendar:

2014 Activities-Based Advent Calendar

Like me on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram to follow our Advent Calendar activities this month!

ADDITION MADE ON DECEMBER 2, 2014:

And then I vlogged about our Advent Calendar…

I’m Going to #BlissDomCA!! Time to #PrepForBliss!

I’m crazy excited to be attending Blissdom ’14 this year!!! It’s the biggest blogging and social media conference in Canada. Every year while it’s happening, I’ve been in a bit of a funk over the fact that it’s happening and I’m not there. This year, I get to go as part of Main Street Creative‘s team…so a huge thank you to them!

I’m doing my research, reading posts written by those who have attended previous years:

• Sober Julie : 10 Things NOT to do at a Blogger Conference
• Mommy Gearest : Packing for A Social Media Conference
• Lindsay Dianne : Heading to #BlissDomCA
• Loulou’s Views : What To Wear To BlissDom Canada
• ChickyMara’s post on Be Nice or Learn : The Official-ish Blissdom FAQs & Semi-Useful Tips – she’s the official “Hello lady” for the conference

I’m not sure exactly what time I’ll be arriving on Thursday…hopefully around 10am. Later that afternoon, I’m sure I’ll be hanging out in the “Newbie Lounge”. I seem to be reading a common theme that most attendees are worried about being wall flowers … I am NOT naturally a wall flower. Extroverts unite…together! If I am being a wall flower…just wave some Starbucks chai (lactose-free milk, no water please) under my nose. I’ll be fine after that. 😉

I still need to sort through my timetable for the rest of Thursday and all day Friday…there’s so much to choose from!

We had to sign up a couple of weeks ago for the microsessions Saturday morning. I’m sssoooo excited to be attending:

• New Blogger? Little Blogger? You can get love too! – Tiffany Grisdale
• Master the Branded Narrative & change your life – Julie Nowell
• From Blog To Business (How to take your love of blogging to the next level and make it your business.) – Loukia Zigoumis

If you’re attending any of these microsessions, please say hi…I’m sure I’ll be the only tall redhead. 😉

There’s even a pajama party…how often do you get to wear pjs and slippers in public? 😉

Now I just need to figure what to wear the rest of the time because, let’s face it, as a Stay at Home Mom, my regular outfit consists of yoga pants and t-shirts. Sigh. Where’s a personal shopper (and the budget to pay for one) when you need one?

Please be sure to follow me on Twitter or Like me on Facebook to check out what I’m doing during #BlissDomCA.

 

#Workshop – #Financial & #Family #Support for #Autism, #HamONT

Excited to announce the first of a new workshop series being held in Hamilton, ON called “Financial & Family Support for Families Affected by Autism”. It’s being held on Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at St. John United Church, Hamilton ON, doors opening at 6:30pm.

The first workshop is called “Getting Ready For Back To School, and Finances“. More information: 2014 August – Financial & Family Support – online rsvp.

Speakers will discuss:

• Back to School: preparing financially and emotionally – by yours truly… 😉
• RDSP – Melissa Greaves, Primerica
• Budgeting – Christine Lasebnik, Primerica

Please join the Facebook group created specifically for this workshop series: Autism – Family & Financial Workshops.

#MothersDay 2014 (#Autism)

Had a very low-key Mother’s Day. I picked the kids up from their dad’s and my daughter asked if they could play outside. “But mommy, you go in and make yourself a chai. Then you can come out with us.” Well, if I must… 😉

Some lovely presents the kids made at school. This one from my daughter. It’s a “purse” that included a tea bag and some candies, which of course she kept asking if I wanted any…and can she have them too. 🙂

     

My son’s class made a little dessert with a poem attached and Mother’s Day cards. Apparently while he was writing his, he kept asking “Mommy please”. The teachers would tell him that he’ll see me at pick up time…and the next thing they knew, he was writing “sad” in the middle of the card. Priceless!

We spent a lot of the afternoon at the park, where my son decided the best thing to do was to just hang out in the grass beside me.

And playing with dandelions…

My daughter was running around too much, playing with new friends, to stay still for photos.

When we walked back home, my neighbour (who, if you Like me on Facebook, you’ll see he had his driveway replaced last week…which resulted in a hole in my basement wall…sigh) needed his driveway watered until the company came back today to seal everything in. My son loves “watering” the telephone pole in my neighbour’s front yard with the hoses (it’s just the bottom of it so no need to worry) so my neighbour asked if he wanted to “change the colour of the driveway” from almost white to grey. Both my kids jumped at the chance…and they were both soaking wet afterwards. The driveway got watered AND the kids did too.

Happy kids = Happy Mommy!

Hope everyone had a great Mother’s Day!

Well, I *should* have been doing school work…

It’s amazing what I can find to do while my daughter is having a playdate here, and my son has started his “circuits” around our home. Started listing them off at a Facebook status but frankly, it was getting too long so I figured I would change it to a blog post.

So, here’s the list of things I’ve found to do today when I *should* have been doing school work (I have an assignment due TOMORROW!):

• decluttering, specifically starting to find my front hall because that has pretty much disappeared. It’s just a start. Still more to do but at least there’s space for us (and my daughter’s playdate’s parents to pick her up tonight!)
• folding laundry to finish packing everything for the kids because they are going to their dad’s for March Break
• putting away (most) of the laundry
• watching organizing videos on Youtube while doing laundry (seemed appropriate)…which leads me to wonder, should I start doing vlogs…? Would anyone be interested? Bueller? Bueller?  😉
• More wondering: Would I actually be able to figure out the technology to do vlogs? I always have lots to talk about so content wouldn’t be a problem. 😉 Do I want to be on camera more often than the Many Faces of Autism? I chatted with the production assistant for the Many Faces of Autism on Friday. She and I came up with a number of interviews for me to chat about…should we do those as actual interviews, or me just vlogging? Can I just use my cell phone as a video camera for vlogging. Hmm…
• started categorizing my Youtube channel…just in case I start vlogging… 😉

Back to the list…

• put out the garbage, recycling and compost
• started my checklist to pack myself because I’m going to my parents’ for a few days. I’ll be childless and what am I doing? Going to my parents’ farm…and I still have meetings in person and via Skype so basically, I’ll be doing my normal stuff, with a different view and fresh air.
• unload and loaded the dishwasher
• decluttered the table beside my side of the couch…yet another space that got “lost” in the last couple of weeks. What can I say? Life gets busy. (I took a “before” picture…may turn into a blog post, if I’m brave enough to share that photo)
• cleaned and reorganized my cutlery drawer because, well, there was a weird battery explosion that just made NO SENSE!
• Facebook chatted with the next mom who is kind enough to share her family’s Autism journey on the Many Faces of Autism.
• writing this blog post 😉

And now, I need to get started on dinner, so clearly my school work is not happening until later this evening. Sigh.

PS – I’m almost kind of serious about thinking about vlogging. Message me, Facebook me, or comment and let me know what you think. I’m completely ok if the overwhelming response is No! 😉

#WordlessWednesday – Such A #Blogger

My man and I went for a walk in the snow a while ago, giving him the opportunity to take pictures just “because”…he doesn’t get to do that often as he’s a professional photographer. He “caught” me …

Such a Canadian blogger too…winterwear, surrounded by snow, and probably tweeting or Facebook’ing about our walk. 😉

My List of #PetPeeves (#InspireMe2014)

Today’s Inspire Me 2014 Writing Prompt : The littlest thing can set us off. Write about a pet peeve and try to get creative!
I fear this may be a long list…but off the top of my head:

• My daughter’s voice is much louder than usual when she returns from her dad’s. I’m constantly reminding her that she’s yelling when she gets back on Sunday nights. Don’t know why she does it, but it drives me crazy!
• My son turning the volume up on the tv or computer every time I leave the room. Every. Single. Time.
• Facebook Pages or Groups that have a spelling mistake in the name
• Weak handshakes – nothing turns me off more. My mom thinks it’s funny as to how much this bothers me.
• Using the term “in order to” – not sure why this term bothers me but most of the time when I see it, it can just be omitted from the sentence.
• Using the term “I’m too busy” – no you aren’t, you are just prioritizing other things. I stopped using the term “I’m too busy” to do something a few years ago. It’s a completely different thing when you admit to no having made it a priority (of which there are a number of things for me!)
• People who complain on Facebook EVERY DAY about being busy. We all have busy days. We all have the same number of hours in a day. If you are too busy every single day, try saying “no” once in a while.
• Using ALL CAPS. I can understand 20 – 30 years ago when people were starting on personal computers, but now? Did you not receive the memo that it looks LIKE YOU ARE YELLING? 😉
• When the inside of microwaves are dirty. Shiver.
• When volume on the radio is set to a number that ends with 1, 3, 7 or 9. Completely illogical, I know but it bugs me.
• People who don’t seem to understand that things change every 20 or so years. It’s called “progress” people!
• People who wear too much perfume/cologne. Why do they do that? Don’t they know?
• Men who refer to it as “babysitting” their own kids. I’m sure there are women out there who say it too but I’ve never heard it. It’s called “parenting”, not “babysitting”.
• Anyone talking down to or about someone else.
• People who are always negative and do nothing but complain. If the same thing bothers you all the time, either change it or your reaction to it. Why carry around that negativity?
• Parents who bring their kids to movies that are not meant for kids. My man and I saw the new Hunger Games movie a couple of weekends ago and I was shocked to see a child who couldn’t have been older than 6 get up near the end of the movie to go to the washroom. Not acceptable.
• A new fast food tv commercial that overuses “Whaaat?!!!”. I change the channel as soon as I see it. And now it’s on the radio too…that’s even more annoying.
• Being micromanaged.
• When people say they know “all about Autism” because they saw a documentary or Rain Man. Really??!!!

I swear, I’m pretty easy to get along with. Being a Libra, I don’t even tell people when they are committing one of these grievances for fear of causing confrontation, and I don’t hold it against them…much. 😉

What are your pet peeves?

20 Questions to Recap #2013

One of my girlfriends saw these questions on her Facebook, then posted them on her blog. I liked the questions and, surprisingly, they were difficult/inspired lots of thought to answer them so, here are my responses:

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Returning to school. I have a number of “pieces of paper” from various post-secondary education institutions. I can honestly say that this is the first time where I actually felt “right” and that I “belonged” in this program, compared to being there because it’s the next step in my career development.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Again, returning to school. It’s forced me to read something other than Autism and special needs (although there was a unit about special needs…rocked that one!). Apparently I did ok…got 81% as a final grade for my first course in over 10 years! Yay me!

• 3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

My daughter whizzing through swimming lessons so quickly! I was shocked at how proud I was about this! She’s a natural fish, just like her big sister. Related to this, my son overcame his fear of the water…so much so, that now I can’t keep him out of water, whether it’s a pool or a puddle. 😉 Completely unrelated, my son also let me cut his hair…without him trying to kill me! Woohoo!

• 4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Losing one of my “babysitters” so I can attend school. She’s a girlfriend of mine who offered to watch my kids (“what’s two more kids when I already have four?!” LOL!) while I’m in class. Unfortunately, she seems to have disappeared and I’m quite worried about her. I have tried all methods of communication and because she lives in an apartment building where you need to get buzzed in, I can’t get in to find her. I hope she and her family are ok. Thankfully, my man stepped up and instead of being the “back up” because he is busy editing photos from weekend photoshoots on Monday nights, he ended up being my primary caregiver while I’m in school. ❤ you, for so many reasons!

5. Pick three words to describe this past year.

“Outside my comfort zone”. OK, I know that’s four words, but they are kind of all needed. Between camping, going out of the country for the first time since long before kids, owning cats, returning to school, driving a lot at night (I’m not very comfortable with it anymore. Not sure why, but I acknowledge that hesitation is there), etc…I’ve been forced into situations that were very new to me and therefore caused me a lot of stress (both productive and unproductive stress). It was a good challenge but also one that makes me appreciate my comfort zone even more. 😉

• 6. What were the best books you read this year?

Looking back, I don’t think I actually read my books…something I need to change in 2014. One of my friends actually has made a goal of increasing her number of books read and has challenged others to join her. Her goal is 40. Mine is 5 (excluding textbooks of course). LOL! My favourite book I read this year though was Carly’s Voice.

7. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

My kids, my man, my parents, and my BFF. Don’t come between me and these relationships…you will lose. Consider yourself warned.

• 8. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Getting the confidence to return to school.

• 9. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I lost two friends from high school to suicide this year, and I miss them terribly even though our primary form of communication was through Facebook. They and their family were very important to me in high school. The first shocked us all, and the second was just unbelieveable. I plan on visiting their graves as soon as I can. I also started some new relationships, which I look forward to growing and expanding.

• 10. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

My belief in karma, optimism and treating others as I wish to be treated remains intact, and continues to grow.

• 11. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I dislocated a bone in the same wrist as I broke last year. Physically, it taught me and reinforced that I can overcome very difficult situations.

• 12. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I have stopped apologizing so much (I’m so “Canadian”, eh?). A former colleague told me over a decade ago that I apologize too much, and that every time I apologize without needing to, I increase my own stress levels. It’s always hung around in my brain and the past few years, I’ve really tried to be aware of when I apologize for things that aren’t my fault. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first one to admit that I messed up, and I apologize when I need to. I think this has strengthened my personal relationships…I hope!

• 13. What was the most enjoyable part of your work?

Meeting other families with children with special needs in real life and online. Sharing stories. Helping them gain the confidence in their own decisions and what’s right for their family. Prioritizing next steps. Accessing services/funding. Also, writing this blog. I love writing and sharing our lives with each of you!

14. What was the most challenging part of your work?

Staying emotionally “detached” to a certain degree. My natural instinct is to want to “fix” whatever issue they are having, but you can either give a person a fish and he’ll eat for a day, or teach him to fish and he’ll eat forever. The most challenging part of writing this blog is sometimes not having enough “inspiration” to write from…or alternatively, too much! 😉

• 15. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Let’s be honest…Facebook, but it’s also my main source of a social life so really, is it a time waster when it’s also “Me Time”?

16. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Being “present” with my kids.

17. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

My own inner resilience. I have been through many ups and downs, which tested my emotional, personal, spiritual, and physical strengths.

• 18. Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

“Outside the box”…thankfully, my son has trained me well for this so we all made it through. 🙂

From my family to yours, Happy New Year!

Giving Back to the Community at #Christmastime

If you read my blog and/or my Facebook Page, you know that I’m a member of two local moms groups. Each year, one of the groups organizes a donation to the local Adopt A Family program. We put together gift baskets/bags for single moms, specifically for the moms themselves. I offered to be the main drop-off point this year as the wonderful mom who was the main drop-off point last year has returned to work after mat leave (it’s a year here in Canada!).

It was a bit chaotic in the days leading up to last night, collecting and storing all the donations from people. Basically, I posted on various groups I belong to on Facebook locally, and people were so generous in donating. The mom’s group founder and a girlfriend of mine came over, and the three of us plus my daughter put together 46 (!!!) gift baskets and bags, and also a box of toiletries to donate to the shelter run by the program.

It was an exhausting 4 hours, but with wine, Christmas treats, music and girlfriends, we all had a great time. My daughter was even upset she had to go to bed (I let her stay up late to help). I promised her that we would leave one last basket for her to make all pretty in the morning. It was so cute when she declared “you girls still have lots of work to do” when she went off to bed.

My dining room floor (aka the prep area) is now covered in glitter and sparkles, I have lots of recycling to put out, etc, but I’m so thankful to be part of this program, and that my kids jumped right on board with me. 🙂

Melatonin = Bad Parenting…??!

Earlier this week, I jokingly stated the following on my Facebook Page: “Umm, my son has fallen asleep on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket. Anyone willing to come help me pick up my 100lbs ‘baby’, carry him up the stairs, and put him to bed? He’s in melatonin state. Anyone? Nope. Oh well, thought I would try. 🙂”

Surprisingly, it sparked quite a bit of conversation back and forth. One person shared with us that she’s been called a bad mom for giving her child with Autism melatonin to help him calm down enough to sleep.

Whenever I’ve encountered that type of “feedback”, I calmly ask them how much sleep they got last night, the night before, and each night for the last week. Usually, they will say anywhere from 6 – 9 hours. I then explain to them that without melatonin, my son’s natural sleep pattern is he’ll finally fall down (and I mean literally fall down) and go to sleep around midnight (after an 8pm bedtime routine), sleep until about 2am, and then he’ll be up for the next day. Most times, it’s enough to stop them from questioning my family’s need for melatonin.

Other times, they will make the comparison between his sleep pattern and being the parent of a newborn. I will ask them how they felt when they had a newborn. Exhausted. Yes, and when did your child start sleeping through the night? Usually I get an answer of anywhere from 1 – 3 years old. I then remind them that my son is 8 years old and if it wasn’t for melatonin, he probably wouldn’t have slept more than a couple of hours per night since he was born…and without naps either. I’ve never had anyone question beyond there.

I personally always look at these types of conversations as an opportunity to raise awareness about Autism and special needs in general. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes there are conversations where I’m tempted to lose my patience/temper and tell the person off, but I don’t…unless they are stopping me from ensuring my kids are safe, then all bets are off!

I just keep reminding myself that, when I was pregnant with my kids, EVERYONE had an opinion of what was best for me during my pregnancy, until I laughed and told them I was having twins. Rarely did anyone know what to tell me other than some distant person they heard of who had a horrible multiples pregnancy and birth. I would respectfully tell them that I didn’t want to hear about worse-case scenarios because if I wanted to focus on that, all I had to do was pick up ANY book about pregnancy. That’s the ONLY information out there – doomsday information about giving birth to twins.

Then EVERYONE had an opinion about everything baby-related: cloth diapers (nope), breastfeeding (yes…for a year!), immunizations (yes), baby carrying (nope), co-sleeping (sometimes), feeding routines (yes), strict bedtime routines (yes), etc.

Then EVERYONE has an opinion about preschool and school-ages: daycare (yes), work outside the home (yes…for a while anyway for me), homeschool (nope), after school activities (yes), have assessments done for potential diagnosis (yes!!!), etc.

I’m still confused by why people believe there is only one way to raise a family…their way.  The old saying “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes” is true. If your family is blessed with special needs, then you know what is best for your family; if your family is blessed without special needs, you still know what is best for your family. Why on earth would you be telling the other family how to best raise their family???

Everyone is an expert…in raising THEIR own family.