4th Time in 4 Years…No Guilt

I seem to be publishing more videos on Youtube recently than writing here on my blog so, if you want to keep current with what I’m up to, check out my Youtube channel here: I’m A Mom Too.

I’m writing today because I’m enjoying something and wanted to share it with you. Ii’m currently enjoying…

a chai latte…

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caesar salad…and sweet potato fries.

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This may not be a big deal to some and normally, it’s just a little treat to be able to go out and enjoy these foods at a cafe, on a weekend when the kids are at their dad’s, and where I didn’t have to cook.

Today however, it’s a bigger deal. See, my ex-husband (the kids’ father) asked last week if he could pick the kids up from school tonight. Random request, even though our Court Order states that he is supposed to pick the kids up from school every other Friday for the weekends they are with him AND also every Wednesday night for an overnight. He doesn’t. I drop the kids off at their dad’s at 7pm every other Friday and he doesn’t do the mid-week visit because he works out of town.

An added thorn in my side is that, despite being in Court twice and mentioning that he has never talked to me about whether it’s ok if he doesn’t do the mid-week visits (which frankly, it doesn’t matter to me…but I’m sure the kids would love to see him every Wednesday). He even emailed me months ago asking if the kids can come back to me mid-week when they are at his place over the summer for “four non-consecutive weeks”, stating how “important it is” for the kids to see each parent throughout the week…umm, I know. I’m the one cleaning up the pieces every time they tell me they want to see him more often than for four days per month. He’s also never taken me up each time in Court when I suggest we “switch” some of that mid-week time to one-on-one time for each of us, with each of our twins, on one of the weekends they are supposed to be with me in a month. His response is always “we’ll see”…which I’ve learned to translate as “no, but I don’t want to outright say that”.

So, here I enjoy the FOURTH time in four years where I haven’t had to rush to pick the kids up from school, IBI therapy or meet my son’s bus…three of those four times were when I had to arrange for the kids’ dad to pick them up from school because I had an out-of-town event (the 4th time, my boyfriend picked them up).

This is the FOURTH time in four years where I’ve had the time flexibility to chit chat with my colleagues after my shift is done because I’m currently at placement related to my return to school in Fall 2013.

This is the FOURTH time in four years that I haven’t had to make the kids’ after school snack because they are “starving” and haven’t “eaten in forever” as soon as they walk in the door.

This the FOURTH time in four years that I have been able to enjoy a leisurely way to get home. To stop at a cafe, enjoy some youtube videos, people watch, see the mom and little girl in the booth next to mine on a “mother-daughter date”, and write just because I enjoy writing. Not write an essay or assignment for school (although I should be because I have logs I have to submit for my placement, but I don’t feel like it).

I’m just spending some time doing NOTHING. I don’t have to be anywhere for another three hours. I may go for a walk along the waterfront after I’m done in the cafe. Who knows? I have three more hours to waste…and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. I’m going to enjoy my chai. Enjoy the sun shining outside. Enjoy this fourth time in four years.

Cheers!

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After School #MeTime, While The Kids Are Home?!!

My son’s new after school routine (within the last month and a half or so) is to get out of the car, run to the driveway of our neighbour 3 doors down, run back, play with his shadow, and then hang out on another neighbour’s porch for a while. Some days, he can be there for a good hour or so. If those neighbours are outside, and needing to go in and out of their front door, they just say hi, move around him and head inside.  They even asked after we moved in late last summer how to communicate with him!  How awesome are our neighbours?!

Until now, this after school routine has been a bit difficult for me, trying to keep an eye on him while my daughter is going in and out of our home, and honestly, trying to find somewhere comfortable for me to be for the hour or so he takes for this routine…especially when it’s raining (and the couple of days it snowed). A couple of days ago however, my man’s parents gave us some new-to-us lawn chairs and table (they’re even my favourite colour: green!).  While my son did his routine last night, I was able to bring backpacks and everything inside, get the kids an after school snack, and make myself a chai. I then sat down in our new chairs on the front porch with my feet up, reading my book (shocking that it’s about Autism!), drinking my chai and still being able to keep an eye on my son.

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A bonus too, is the view of and lovely fragrance resulting from the bush in my front yard:

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Not a bad routine to have to “endure” each and every day! 😉

#MomsMeTimeTO Reminded Us of the Importance of #MeTime

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I had the honour of speaking at #MomsMeTimeTO last Friday, sharing my story of parenting 7yo boy/girl twins with special needs, and being part of my stepdaughter’s support network as well. The message for the conference was to remind moms that we need to take time for ourselves as well.

The message I hoped to get across was to remind moms to “put your oxygen mask on first”. We all get overwhelmed and stressed but it’s how you deal with that stress that is key to how well you can parent your children. I don’t pretend to have it all figured out…far from it, I am constantly working on balancing my stress levels. Keys to managing my stress levels include my weekly yoga class, journaling, meditating, knitting, meeting with my counsellor once a month, spending time with my man and friends, and gasp, disconnecting from social media. I don’t do each of these things daily, but I do know that when I’m feeling overwhelmed and don’t want to go out and interact with others, that’s the most important time for me to get out, and spend time with people. I’m an extrovert…I get my energy by spending time with people…I refill my emotional tank, so to speak.

Most of the attendees were fellow bloggers so it was kind of fun seeing everyone looking at their smart phones, or typing away on their laptops. Later that evening, I checked Twitter to find that people had been tweeting during my talk…and I was honoured by what they were saying!

Of course, with a room with lots of bloggers, the blogs are starting to be shared now so here are some of them:

Little Miss Kat & Co: “Fun weekend with #MomsMeTimeTO

SoberJulie: “A Weekend For Me – #MomsMeTimeTO

A Vision For Our Kids: “Defining Your Own Serenity

1 Heart, 1 Family: “Ten Things I Learned From #MomsMeTimeTO” <added April 9, 2013>

Ideally Speaking: “A Wonderful Weekend with #MomsMeTimeTO” <added April 12, 2013>

Best of all, I met some amazing ladies on the one day I was there…can’t wait to tweet, facebook and chat with each of them! 🙂

How my 7yo spoils me

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A couple of nights per week, my daughter started inviting me to her “spa”. It just suddenly started about a month ago…and I’ve been enjoying every single second of it!

 

She books appointments with various therapists for me, all of whom are her with different names. Each therapist calls me by my first name. At this age, it’s just so cute when she says my name instead of “mommy”. I’m sure it won’t be so cute when she’s screaming it at me when she’s 16 years old – LOL! Each therapist also informs me if they are running late, and explains what service they are providing prior to actually starting.

 

I lay on our leather ottoman in the living and by the end of my time at her spa, I have received a back massage (which consists of her walking on my back…she’s not allowed to get any bigger!), a back rub, a face massage, a head massage, my hair being brushed, arm massage for the wrist I fractured, pretend tattoos and sometimes even pretend makeup application.

 

What can I say? I’m a very lucky mom to have such an imaginative daughter!

Fill in the Blank Friday – 09/09

 

1.  Somewhere someone is weighing the pros and cons of getting out of the abusive relationship they are currently in. Will you choose to question or support that person, no matter what their relationship looked like to you?

2.  My kids and our life together  is/are my muse.

3.  It would suck if    chai    was no more because it’s the one thing I can do every day for a couple of minutes of “me time”.

4.  Giving my kids hugs and kisses after school is/are my favorite thing(s) about today.

5.  Life is kind of like a rollercoaster…there are ups and downs; thrills and chills; parts you are scared of and parts you enjoy; and some rides you want to go on again and again, and others you just really want to get off.
6. If I could have anything I wanted I would want :

  • a cleaner
  • a chef
  • to own a Starbucks (free chai!)
  • to own our own home, completely mortgage-free

        But most of all, I just want to be a good mom, and for my kids to be happy and fulfilled in whatever they decide to do in life.

7.  A funny thing happened the other day… my 6 year old daughter told me that “shorts aren’t my ‘thing’, Mommy”.

Have a great weekend!