I got a little behind in reviewing StepMom Magazine, not because of the content, purely because of life being busy, with end of school, summer break and camp starting, and my first vacation in 5 years (woohoo!).
The June issue honestly initially didn’t speak much to me as its focus was on fathers for Father’s Day. Not being a father, nor being remarried, I didn’t think I would be interested…but there were some fantastic articles. I also thought it was a cute twist to have the Editor’s husband write for “Brenda’s Corner“.
In “Take Two: Becoming a Dad For the Second Time“, the author questions how her husband is going to manage seeing their soon-to-be-born child every day while seeing his first born every other weekend. I had never even thought of this as a “problem” until my then-husband mentioned once that he found it challenging initially to call me “mommy” in front of our twin babies, and “Meghan” when referring to me in front of my stepdaughter. He slipped a few times, but it all worked out.
The article entitled “Repeat After Me: 5 Important Mantras for Repartnered Men” is a great list for ALL men (to be stereotypical) and frankly, for any parent, male or female:
- I don’t always have to “fix” something
- I don’t have to retreat
- It’s not all about me – I have a partner
- My divorce and remarriage haven’t ruined my kids forever
- I deserve a happy marriage and my kids deserve to have parents who love eachother
In “The Secrets We Keep: 10 Things Stepmothers Really Want You To Know“, I didn’t have all of the secrets when I was married to my stepdaughter’s father except for #8…”sometimes I feel invisible“. Many times, my then-husband would have conversations, make decisions and/or plans with his daughter for our family of three without telling me, and then be shocked when I wasn’t ready to go to wherever they had decided to go and/or that I had no clue what he was talking about. Because I wasn’t ready to leave when they were, I would be left standing behind the closed door, feeling left out, unloved, cheated from an experience my stepdaughter would enjoy, and almost worse, I was not part of his family.
After it happened a few times, I pointed it out to him and didn’t really see it again until after our kids were born. Then, he would leave with my stepdaughter without giving me any warning, or even inviting me and the babies. Even if it was a quick outing, or one that the babies were too young for, I told him I would have appreciated knowing about it more than 5 minutes before they were leaving. It was the simple courtesy of giving me time to determine if we had enough diapers in the house (twins…lots of diapers needed!) to get me through the day and if we didn’t, for me to go get some before he left with my stepdaughter for the entire day, for me to run to the basement to flip laundry over before he leaves, or more importantly, for me to have a quick shower. I could deal with all the diaper-changing, crying, or throw up the twins could throw at me…as long as I had a shower.
The June Issue even included directions for a handmade (leather-covered!) journal for dad, and a bunch of pictures of stepmoms with their partner in the section “Celebrating the Men We Love“. Cute pictures!
Meghan was given a one-year subscription to StepMom Magazine in exchange for reviews.