Discussion all parents need to have, no matter how awkward

My daughter and I were driving to pick up my son from IBI today, and we had one of those important discussions that all parents need to have with their children. Somehow we started talking about who she can talk to when she’s sad, happy, angry, etc. We started discussing who are safe grownups in her world to talk to about her emotions.

With my heart beating about a million times a second, I decided it was a great opportunity to chat about what to do if someone tries touching her privates (besides the fact that I will go more than “mama bear” if anyone ever hurts either of my kids!!!!), and who she can trust to tell or go to, if it ever happens.

At the end of the discussion, she knows that NO ONE is aloud to touch her private parts without her permission, EVER; and she has a list of grown ups she knows will listen to her and act on her behalf if, God-forbid, someone ever hurts her.

It was an awkward conversation to have but I think I was more awkward about it than she was, but it was extremely important.  As parents, we need to look for these opportunities and jump on them.  It wasn’t a long conversation but I hope that I have helped my 6 year old have some tools she can take with her for the rest of her life.

Don’t ever miss an opportunity like the one we had today, no matter how uncomfortable and awkward you feel. If we don’t prepare our children for the world, and stick up for them, no one will.

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5 thoughts on “Discussion all parents need to have, no matter how awkward

  1. Thanks for posting this. I began having this discussion with my daughter when she was very young, 2 or 3. The next step is to make sure children know the proper name for their “private parts” so if they ever need to tell they are comfortable saying those words.

    Because I had been sharing this info with my daughter she was able to tell me immediately when she was sexually assaulted at 4.5 years old.

    Please, please, please talk to your children! When it’s happening to them they may not be able to say no. But I they know they can tell you or a trusted adult it will likely stop it from happening again.

    It’s not a ‘one and done’ conversation either. Kids need to be reminded that their body belongs to them.

    Also, we need to respect our children’s choice NOT to be hugged or touched. The message needs to be consistent. They’re allowed to say no, no matter what.

    • Completely agree! Both my kids (even though my son does verbalize much) know the real words for their “private parts”. I was always very uncomfortable using the real words, but didn’t want my kids to feel that “uncomfortableness”. I want them to understand that they are in charge of their bodies. We will continue to have this conversation. I like that it was a quick and matter of fact type of discussion so my daughter just continued on with telling me about the little things that happened in her day, and what was going through her head.

    • I don’t think I can answer your question. My daughter is 6.5 years old. I’ve started having awkward discussions like this one in the last year or more, actively looking for opportunities to have the discussion rather than sitting down and making a big deal about it. I think the key is to ensure you keep it age-appropriate and don’t try to scare the child. Just give them the tools to be able to deal with situations should they ever arise.

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