You continue to elude me. I used to have big dreams related to my career…I knew where I wanted to be in 5, 10, 15 years, etc, and how to get there. I dreamt about achieving certain professional recognition, by a certain age.
Having kids changed my focus (for which I will be eternally grateful), and then my son’s diagnosis changed my reality. It’s time for me to start dreaming again…may even make that a New Year’s Resolution of some kind.
What I do know is that I DON’T want to dream about a day when there is complete acceptance of Autism (although, that would be an amazing achievement!). I hope and work towards surrounding the three of us with people who completely accept us, for who we are, not for a diagnosis.
Compared to before kids, I now have much smaller dreams (although world peace would be lovely!)…I dream of:
- the day when my son is potty trained (6 years and counting of changing diapers…ugh!)
- being able to burn candles again
- having a shower without the kids coming in or at least calling through the bathroom door for something
- having a full time job outside the home
- getting a massage
- hiring a cleaner
- being allowed to live in a furniture store like Ikea, Pier One or HomeSense (tee hee!)
- sleeping a full and continuous 8 – 9 hours every single night
- having someone else put away laundry
- taking yoga and dance classes again
Wait…is this a wishlist or a list of dreams, or is that the same thing? I’m not sure. Although I know it isn’t “right”, and I know I shouldn’t be doing it, my dreams are on hold…at least until my son can function fairly well in a typical world…mind you, candles aren’t expensive so maybe I can make one of my dreams a reality tomorrow…if I remember to get them as our day is pretty packed tomorrow. Only time will tell I guess.