Moving to a new town means a new home, new surroundings, new experiences, new schedules and meeting new people (or reconnecting with childhood friends like I am since we moved back to my hometown). I’m not a shy person (by far!) so I have no problem striking up a conversation with someone. Eventually though, the dreaded question is asked… “So, what do you do for a living?”.
As a former career-girl, I’m still quite tongue-tied by this question. I proudly use to say that I had to find a man who was willing and able to be the stay at home dad because I was going back to work as soon as I could after giving birth. My career was my focus, and I was proud of it. Having children changed everything! When I HAD to go back to work when my twins were 3 months old because I didn’t have benefits (in Canada, we can take up to a year) so my (now ex-) husband stayed home for 7 months as his work had top-up. Since then, I have regretted having to go back to work and I’m glad I get the opportunity to be with them now.
A year and a half ago, I unexpectedly became a SAHM, partly because I couldn’t find childcare and partly (mostly) because of my marriage breaking up. Last fall, I had secured a full time contract back in my former career, at a level where it was as if I hadn’t been away from that career track for 4 years. Unfortunately, 6 weeks into the position, my childcare fell through. Finding care for my daughter is easy because she’s “neurotypical” but finding care for my son is a bit more complicated because he has Autism.
When I say that my job is looking after my kids, I’m still not at the point of saying it with pride, even though I am very proud of it! Friends have looked after my kids for the odd commitment I’ve had where their father couldn’t take them, and they usually tell me that they don’t know how I do it, they didn’t realize how much my son needed to be watched like a hawk, and that I make it look so easy. ~Blush~
So, when I’m asked what I do for a living, I tend to use the past tense: “I used to be a fundraiser, and an organizer, now I’m a SAHM.” Logically, I know that if anyone else has a “problem” with it or looks down on me for “wasting” my university education and 2 college diplomas on being a SAHM, that’s their problem. The question is, how do I change my own thinking so I can stop being “apologetic” to myself about being a SAHM?
Perhaps I should switch out the words “Stay-At-Home-Mom” with the 2nd definition of the acronym “SAHM” on this online dictionary … “Sexy And Hot Momma”…tee hee… 😉