So, the world is supposed to end today… “Rapture” as they call it. Honestly, I had to Google it to find out more and, as I was reading all this doomsday
crapstuff, a new headline popped up “Rapture deadline passes, world still here”. What?! It’s 10am here! More research. Ahh…there are supposed to be powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each time zone. So, as a highschool friend of mine posted on his Facebook, it’s supposed to be a “rolling Rapture”. Australia has now experienced 6pm and they are still alive. Yay!
More research has turned up that apparently those of us left on Earth, will suffer Hell until October 21st when God will finally pull the plug once and for all. Wait, it took God 6 days to create Earth, but 5 months to destroy it? What am I missing here? I thought it was faster to destroy things than create them, after all it takes builders YEARS to build a huge skyscraper, but only a few minutes to blast it down.
Came across this article entitled After the Rapture, Who Will Walk Your Dog? As a dog-lover, I just had to check that out. It’s a pet service offering to look after your pets post-Rapture for $135, no money-back guarantee if there’s no Rapture. My favourite quote is from the owner of the service: “What we try to do is reassure our clients that they can trust us, number one,” he says. And if that isn’t good enough, Centre suggests clients “find a friend who may be a Jew, a Hindu, a Muslim, an Atheist, a Wiccan, a Catholic, an Episcopal, anyone they think is not going to be Raptured and appoint them as their post-Rapture power of attorney.” LMAO!! One of the comments on the article sums it all up in my mind: “If my dog can’t come with me then I am not going.”
Then there’s the Rapture Ready website. WAY too much information but scrolling down the website (apparently they skipped Website Design 101), came across the “Featured End of Time Writers” section. Firstly, how do you include that on a resume or explain it in an interview post-Rapture? Yes, I was a Featured End of Time Writer, but it didn’t happen so I need a job. Secondly, I was shocked to see my grandfather’s name there! Even more shocking that he passed away a number of years ago.
At the end of the
daytime, I hope I’m going to Heaven because I know my kids will be there, but if I’m staying to ensure Hell on Earth, then I’m keeping all of you with me…much better party that way!