#Autism at the grocery store

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism‘s Facebook Page. I absolutely love this! My daughter will tell people “My brother doesn’t talk. He has Autism” when people we don’t know ask him questions and he doesn’t answer. I do have to remind her though that if we give him enough time, he will answer. People always smile at this interaction.

“As we queued at the checkout the whispers began,
I could see the finger pointing from a lady and a man.

My little boy was stimming, flapping like a bird.
I suppose to those unknowledged it really seems absurd.
…
‘What’s wrong with your Son?’ they eventually asked.
I was taken aback but my Daughter answered fast.

‘Nothing’, she said, ‘he’s Autistic that’s all,
he’s unique, he is perfect he will never be cruel.’

‘Come on little brother, let’s have some fun,
let’s stim together,’ she said to my Son.

Then they both flapped their arms and jumped really high.
I honestly thought they were going to fly!

I was overwhelmed with pride as I watched them both stim.
I hadn’t realized just how much she loved him.

Relief flooded through me as I know when I’m gone
My beautiful Daughter will protect my amazing Son.

The whispering stopped and they quickly walked away.
Looking very guilty and embarrassed I would say.

The lesson I learnt as I stood in that line
is be proud of your children and all will be fine.”

~ Written by Karen Martin

#Autism Night Before #Christmas

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children with Autism’s  Facebook Page:

♥ ~ Autism Night Before Christmas ~ ♥

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
… Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift
The right color and style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come
But they don’t understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.

“He needs discipline,” they say
“Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent…”
And on goes the attack

We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side

We know what it’s like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions…

But what they don’t know
And what they don’t see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity

He said “hello”
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty
Who cares if he’s ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!

Others don’t realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope

But what they don’t see
Is the joy we can’t hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,

But what they don’t know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.

We don’t get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings

Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.

They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don’t get it
Or can’t get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I’ll assure you

That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You’ll look at me
With respect, even shock.

You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you

That you won’t say a thing
You’ll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned…….

By Cindy Waeltermann

What They Didn’t Tell Me About My Child’s #Autism

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism’s 

 Facebook Page

Here are some things you will not find in your research on autism:

You will not learn how this diagnosis will affect your marriage or other members of your family. You will not be told how it may fundamentally alter your perceptions of what is “normal,” how it may change your view of human beings, how it can force you to question small talk and why we behave the way we do, how it will transform your outlook on life, how it will change you, how your life and everything you assumed to be true, is no longer what you thought.

Having a child with autism may cause you to feel things you never dreamed possible. You may know moments of joy and moments of despair you could not have imagined. You may find yourself going to untold lengths in the hope of helping your child. You may feel distracted, unable to concentrate. Your work and career may suffer. You may learn what it is to be sleep deprived. You will come to know what it means to feel desperation. You will know sorrow in a way no one can prepare you for. You will know happiness in a way no one can prepare you for. Sometimes you may feel both sorrow and happiness within the same day, within the same hour, within the same minute.

You may spend money you do not have on yet another treatment, yet another doctor, yet another specialist, yet another therapy, yet another intervention, all the while rationalizing that if it helps, it will all be worth it. You may contemplate doing things you would have scoffed at before your child was diagnosed. You may find yourself trying things that defy logic and have no medical basis. You may listen to implausible, anecdotal stories and think — we will try that next. You may dream your child is speaking to you in full, complex, beautifully self aware and revealing sentences. You may wake from those dreams believing for a few seconds they were real and not a dream. You will pray that you might dream again. You will welcome sleep, as you never believed possible. You may ache with sadness because your child is crying and in pain and your presence brings them no solace. That ache may become unbearable when your child hits themselves in the face, bites their own arm or hand, punches their own legs or stomach. You may question every maternal instinct you have.

You may feel ecstasy from being hugged, unprompted. You may feel the exquisite joy from having your child reach for you, ask for you or look at you. You may know the joy that comes from seeing your child work so hard at something that does not come easily to them. You may celebrate when they use the bathroom unaided, drink from a cup, sleep for more than a few hours without waking you, try a new food or simply acknowledge your presence. You may feel a gratitude you would not have believed possible. You may cry from happiness when they say a word, any word, even if you are the only person who can understand what the word is. You will know what it is to appreciate commonplace things — eye contact, the correct use of the word “me,” “you” and “I,” physical contact initiated by your child, a word, any word spoken or a smile.

You will feel a fierce love for your child that seems to come from a place that is not of this world. You will know what it is to love unconditionally and you will understand what that really means.

You know you have a child with #Autism when…

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism ‘s Facebook page. ALL of these are SSOOOOO true! The italicized words are my own comments. #4 brings tears to my eyes….I cried like a baby when he FINALLY told me he loves me, just late last year!

___________________________
1. You get kicked out of church in the middle of mass because of random words being yelled by your child.
2. You find elation in achievements other parents take for granted.
3. When every TV and computer is playing “Thomas the train” all day…EVERYDAY!!!!
4. When hearing the words “Mommy I Love you,” after 5 long years makes you sob like a baby.
5. You gain an incredible amount of patience – more than you ever thought was possible.
6. When your child draws a smiley face (that you weren’t aware they could even do) on your wall IN MARKER and your friends can’t understand why you’re not mad but instead celebrating the same way you did when they took their first steps. ~ My experience was tons of words on all walls in his room when I didn’t even know he had snuck a sharpie into his room

7. You separate your laundry into lights, darks and purples because purple is her favorite color.
8. You’re singing Christmas songs in June.
9. When you have grey hair way too soon!!!
10. You have a neat ‘mess’ (arranged toys, etc.) all over the floor that you have to step over! ~ *trip* over
11. They talk about themselves in the 3rd person and can say the same sentence 5 different times (that is totally unrelated to the situation) and you know the 5 different meanings even though the sentence is the same. Make sense? Lol!!!
12. When your child is out in the yard with his underwear on and you are thankful he at least has something on!
13. Your child tells you his brain is different because ‘God” told him in his heart.
14. They can quote whole movies but can’t tell you when they are sick. ~ unfortunately
15. When the holes in your walls were caused by your child’s head during meltdowns. ~ don’t remind me
16. When Billy Mays has been dead for a few years now and he can tell you all the ordering info, including phone numbers for the awesome auger, mighty putty, oxy clean and every product the man ever sold.
17. She relates people’s houses with the snacks that they initially gave her and now she expects it when we visit or a meltdown will happen.
18. When your child has a Jekyll and Hyde personality and can switch in an instant!
19. You make the same breakfast every day.
20. When you know the rest of your life is going to be rougher than expected, but still wouldn’t change the child for the world (unless it would make THEIR life easier) cause the simple things bring you more joy than most parents will ever understand… ~ OMG…so true!
21. When your 8 yr. old can explain to you how to use a trajectory angle to make the ball go right where you want it to but he can’t tie his shoes.
22. Your daughter at 16 yrs old is trying to teach her baby dolls to write hand over hand when even she can’t write her own name.
23. You are standing in a puddle with your child to keep it company before it dries up and “dies.”
24. When you thank the lord every day that you no longer have to change diapers. ~ I JUST got to this stage! Almost 7 years of changing diapers!
25. When you tell your son you love him and he can’t tell you back through voice but all you have to do is look into his big beautiful eyes and see the love shining through them ♥ ~ happy tears!
26. When you are in the grocery store and he is having an episode and some old bat looks at her husband and says “If people can’t control their children better than that they shouldn’t even have them” loud enough to be heard over his tantrum, and you walk up to her slide your shoes off, bend down pick them up, and them to her and say “When you have walked a mile in them get back with me!” and turn around and leave barefoot with a cart full of groceries still sitting in the isle. ~ Ooooo, this is a good one! I’ve always just said “It’s Autism. Learn.” I love this imagery…and I just may do it one day!
27. When your friends and family want a 24 hr. notice even for a 5 minute visit to their home so they can put away ANYTHING that can be broken.
28. When you turn your back for 5 seconds to load the dishwasher and find your 3 year old with poo all over him, your computer, the desk, floor, etc.!
29. When you are the only parent not sitting down and visiting on the playground. You are chasing your child around not taking your eyes off of them for one second. ~ I’ve come out of this stage…knock on wood.
30. When you experience separation anxiety whenever they’re away from you because you know how much they need you.
31. When your ex-in-laws won’t take both of your kids over the weekend because the autistic one is “just too hard”. Wimps. ~ Usually whomever says this is also REALLY quick to give parenting ”advice”
32. You feel the need to celebrate big because he just added a new item to his very short and selective “only food he will eat” list.
33. When to get a yes or no answer to a yes or no question, you have to end every yes or no question with “yes or no”.
34. When using an expression like, “we’ll just play it by ear”, becomes a 30 minute exercise explaining what that really means, where the saying came from, and a realization of how silly some of the everyday expression we use really do sound.
35. When you think he is speaking gibberish at age three only to realize it is actually Klingon he is quoting from the first three minutes of a star trek movie of which that is the only three minutes he ever watches.
36. When you know more about Pokémon than you can remember from American history class in school.
37. When they refuse to eat the toast, as u cut it wrong or it’s on the wrong color plate.
38. When your son says school is boring, they don’t even teach u how to kill dinosaurs!! And you smile and say I wish I lived in your world just for a little while and tears come to your eyes when the reply is ‘come on in mum’!!
39. When the child has better knowledge than you about what happen Wednesday 15 November 2006 at 10.25 am.
40. When you find every shoe in the house lined up from biggest to smallest.
41. When people look at you and wonder why you’re so excited that your 4.5 year old just said a three word sentence!
42. When you relate to all of these LOL!!!

List was compiled from responses given on Single Mothers who have Children with Autism page.

Happy #Mother’s Day!

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who have Children With Autism’s Facebook page:

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME:

To Value a job well done: “If you’re going to kill eachother, do it outside, I just finished cleaning.”

All about time travel: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

Logic: “Because I said so, that’s why.” (I’m so guilty of this one!)

Foresight: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

Irony: “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Osmosis: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

Stamina: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

Weather: “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

Hypocrisy: “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

Circle of Life: “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

Behaviour Modification: “Stop acting like your father!” (I’ve been sssoooooo tempted to say this, sssooooo many times)

Thankfullness: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

Anticipation: “Just wait until we get home.”

Receiving: “You are going to get it when you get home.”

Medical Science: “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

How to become an adult: “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

Wisdom: “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.” (I’ve used a version of this)

Justice: “One day, you’ll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you.”

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

to all the moms, moms-to-be, moms only in your hearts, and “Mr. Moms”. You are all amazing!