Step Mom Magazine updated their Facebook status recently asking if any stepmoms in a certain area in the US were available to host events. I sent them a message stating that if they were looking to host events in Canada, I was their girl. Brenda (the editor) and I chatted through Facebook for a couple days, and then she found out I have a blog and asked if I would mind reviewing the magazine. I was excited about the opportunity, and after reading through the April issue of the magazine, it did NOT disappoint.
The articles were honest, informative and right on point. Two articles from the April issue were a very interesting read for me:
- Moms and Stepmoms – Can’t We All Just Get Along?
- Venom from the Ex-Wife – She Doesn’t Hate You, She Hates What You Represent
I always heard and continue to hear from girlfriends who have this horrible relationship with the mother of their stepchildren. I never had that. We just didn’t have a relationship (until my ex and divorced…then we had LOTS to talk about!). All details were determined between my then husband and his ex. In fact, I remember vividly once when they were in Court when I was pregnant and we were all in a smaller room in the courthouse trying to mediate some points. The two of them were arguing and he brought up about how much she must hate me because I make him happy and was having twins which he claimed was what she always wanted. I was shocked embarrassed, and just plain horrified he would say that. She just calmly said that no, she didn’t hate me; that she actually thought I was very nice. I was stunned, and really happy from that comment. I am a Libra after all…we want everyone to like us!
The article entitled “Stepmoms and Anxiety” describes anxiety really well, whether or not you are a stepmom, and explains realistic tools to incorporate in your every day life. A real-life situation is listed and the inner monologue broken down to reduce the anxiety associated.
In “Intrinsic Motivation”, there are 2 points listed for homework which I’m going to try:
- “Every time you find yourself looking to your outside world to explain your unhappiness, shift to taking responsibility for your internal world.”
- “Whenever you find yourself blaming another (the ex, your partner, your stepchildren, your boss), or using an excuse, ask yourself how you can be more accountable for your inner state.”
The April issue was a great trip down memory lane, back to the beginning of my marriage, when I first became a stepmom. I’m blessed that, despite being divorced from her father, my stepdaughter and I have a great relationship, and I look forward to every time she comes to visit us.
Can’t wait to read the May issue, which is now released. Go check it out!
Meghan was given a one-year subscription in exchange for reviews of Step Mom Magazine.
Day 29- Who has gotten you through the most?
My mom, KG, and my kids. I don’t know how I would have gotten through my separation without the support of my mom and KG, and HAVING to get out of bed to look after my kids. The local Womens’ Centre and my doctor’s office were also amazing resources to help me through.
I spent the first year after the end of my marriage purely in “survival mode”, and now that we are settled into my hometown and are coming up on two years of separation, I’m able to “breathe”, start focusing on my mental and spiritual well-being, and healing from the breakdown of my marriage. I still have to ensure we are fed, clean and clothed, but I’m also able to do daily reflections, journaling, just plain “being”, listing daily “thankfuls”, and asking Spirit for guidance.
Who has gotten you through the tough times?
Day 18- Wedding Talk
(share stories, photos, both, anything having to do with your wedding, the one you had or the one you dream of)
We had a small wedding – only 50 in attendance – at my parents’ farm. Family only for the ceremony, followed by afternoon tea with friends and family. The last guest left at 5pm, which was great for me because I was really sick, and was in bed within minutes.
At one point during the afternoon, my mom told me we had to cut the cake quickly because everyone was leaving. Then one of the guests went running through the house, excitedly saying “come on! We’re going to the barn!”. I chuckled, shook my head and thought to myself “such a bunch of city slickers”.
Everyone got along so well in the informal setting that no one noticed when my new husband, my dad and I left. We went to the local nursing home where my grandmother lived to have photos taken. She was far along in Alzheimer’s by then, but was very excited to see us all dressed up.
Some guests dressed up; others were casual. There wasn’t any pomp and circumstance. Tons of food and lots of merriment. It was a very good day!
The irony of this posting is that it’s actually on my wedding anniversary…yup, made it to 8 years. The fact that we’ve been separated for almost 2 years, brings it to 8 years because we aren’t legally divorced…yet.
Randomosity started a “30 day blog challenge”. I followed a couple blogs participating in the challenge in August and waited patiently to start on September 1st as I’m a bit neurotic about wanting to start on the first of the month and thankfully, September has 30 days.
Starting today, I will be answering prompts every day so please check back often for my latest ramblings.
Day 1 – Your current relationship. If single, discuss being single.
Legally, I’m separated and have been for a year and a half. I prefer referring to my relationship status as “single” as I don’t like “separated” or “divorced”. To me, both terms scream “failure” and I prefer to start an introduction in a positive manner.
I am partnered with someone very special, but want to give him the privacy to deny all knowledge of me and my crazy little family, should he choose…LOL!