My daughter’s school project

In the past, school projects for my daughter have caused huge anxiety (perhaps because of her Anxiety Disorder…hmmm?). She gets scared of “doing it wrong” and makes herself sick anticipating she won’t finish it on time, when we had weeks to work on it, which would then result in her missing school a couple of days (she gets so sick, she gets a fever!) and handing it in late. Catch-22 situation.

Switching her from French Immersion to English earlier this year has helped a bit with the anxiety. Homework used to be HOURS each evening, and was like pulling teeth. I had to “tag team” with my man when frustrations for both my daughter and I ran really high. Poor guy doesn’t understand much French so he couldn’t help for long, but it gave me some time to calm down. Being in English programming at school now, I’ve been able to discover that she learns and retains information differently than I do. She’s very visual and audible when learning; I’ve visual and hands-on when learning.

 

We just finished a project that frankly, I was dreading…expecting the same battles between us. We started working on it on the weekend (was due yesterday).  We had to research crocodiles so I pulled up the internet (remember in the good old days when we had to use the library?) and had her type in “crocodiles”, and she started panicking, crying and panicking.  I couldn’t understand it. I asked her how we were going to research crocodiles if we didn’t start here…the library didn’t open for another 2 hours.  She said she had already done the research. Pardon??!  I asked her when? How? As it turns out, she had watched a couple programs about crocodiles on Youtube the week before. (Insert bad parenting moment here…I pay attention to what she watches but I don’t sit right beside her because usually she watches it while I’m making dinner so I casually glance over. Usually she watches videos about Barbies or dinosaurs. She must have been watching crocodiles when I glanced over and thought she was watching dinosaurs).

She had to include information in four categories: Characteristics, Food, Habitat, and Interesting Facts. So, I “tested” her by asking for information for each of these categories, and I was pleasantly surprised that she knew them…from the Youtube shows she had watched! I asked her how we were going to write it out. She suggested I write down the information in point form so she can copy onto the bristle board that had been provided by her teacher. Brilliant! So we did that. She even suggested that she fill out one category per night because there were four categories and four evenings before it was due. Smart girl! We missed one night so she doubled up on the next night. She filled everything in, she drew pictures, and she was proud of herself.

We seem to have figured out a way to help her feel less anxious to get her school work done. Yay! I’m really proud of her…and us.

To Diagnose or Not, That is the Question (#SpecialNeeds)

 

With the return to school, our kids have started with new teachers and potentially new classmates, so it’s our time once again to help the new teachers and classmates understand our special children. This year, I’ve been hearing more parents talk about whether or not to tell the school, teachers and friends about their child’s diagnosis or special needs. Personally, my belief is to tell…tell everyone! The more people who know about your child’s needs, the better they can help support you and your child.

 

My son is “fortunate” to have just one diagnosis: Autism. Although Autism is trying and testing some days, it’s a very simple and relatively understood diagnosis, and one that has a lot of supports in place in the school system, and the medical community. Don’t get me wrong, I need to stay on top of everything to ensure he gets the support he needs to succeed in school, and later in life.

 

Friends of mine are constantly searching for a diagnosis for their child and they are frustrated. Every new specialist they see offers a new diagnosis, which negates the diagnosis they received from the previous one. As a result, they can’t get the appropriate external support for their child.

 

I’ve heard others recently whose children are at the age of starting school and they have an Autism or Aspergers diagnosis for their child, and are really wrestling with whether or not to tell the school and the new teacher of the diagnosis. When they ask me, I give them a very simple answer: TELL THEM!

 

Others wrestle with whether to tell their own family and friends, fearing those friends and family will treat them and/or their child differently. My harsh opinion is to cut those friends and family. Being a parent is stressful enough, let alone a parent to a child with special needs. Having friends around who aren’t willing to understand your child isn’t helpful to anyone involved.

Humbled During a Snow Storm

Last Friday was the first day this winter that the school buses were cancelled because of the snow. When I was growing up, my dad taught me how to drive on days when the buses were cancelled but schools were open, so I took the kids to school and IBI therapy. The weather cleared up and, by mid-morning the main roads were quite clear. 

I needed to pick up snowpants for my daughter as she’s outgrown hers so I went to the Salvation Army (call me crazy, but I refuse to pay full price for something she’s going to outgrow in a month!).  I looked around for the snowsuits, found the rack and another woman was there, pulling snowpants from the rack. I joked with her that “great minds think alike”. She asked what size I was looking for. I told her my kids’ sizes, and she started looking through her cart (where she had put many snowpants) and found one that was my son’s size, and gave me that.

I must have had a look on my face as I was surprised at the number of snowpants in her cart.  She laughed and said “I was talking with the school secretary this morning at my kids’ school.  She told me that she felt bad for some of the students because so many of the families couldn’t afford full snowsuits for their children so many of the kids would be cold today.  So I thought I would pick up some snowpants to take to the school before recess.”

I was so humbled by this small encounter with this woman. What a wonderful thing for her to do, to “pay it forward”. How will you “pay it forward” today?

 

Remembrance Day at DD’s School

My 6yo daughter is so proud to be singing in her school choir in this year’s Remembrance Day service at her school.  It will be the first time she’s performed in front of an entire school body and she’s a little nervous.  I’m so proud of her!  Here is the song she has been practising at home and will be singing:

There Will Be Peace

 

Open our ears that we may hear.

Where there is hate there will be fear.

Open our eyes that we may see.

Where there is love there will be peace.

 

Peace in our hearts, peace in our homes

Throughout the world for ev’ryone.

Brothers can dwell in unity.

Let peace being, let it be me.

 

Open our ears that we may hear.

Where there is hate there will be fear.

Open our eyes that we may see.

Where there is love there will be peace.

 

Open our eyes that we may see.

Where there is love there will be peace.

 

Our eyes. We may see.

There is love.  There will be peace.

 

To all the past, present and future men and women in service, their families and especially their children, THANK YOU!!

Lest We Forget.

30 Days of Me: Day 20 – Importance of Education

Day 20 – How important you think education is

I am fortunate to come from a highly educated family, and I was a straight A student as well.  Academics just “made sense” to me…in certain subjects anyway.   I also studied French Immersion, so graduated with an extra piece of paper stating I’m fluently bilingual.

I also recognize that school education is not the only type of education one can receive.  I also value street smarts.  The tough part is learning street smarts without having to go through the hard life that usually goes along with street smarts. 

I can’t say that I’m blessed with street smarts AND book smarts, but I am constantly learning and trying to discover new things.  My kids however, are my greatest teachers.  I hope that they learn how much I value them doing their best in school.  The actual grade isn’t important necessarily, and I don’t care if their best subject is Math or English, Science or Home Economics, as long as they are applying themselves and doing their best.

What was your favourite subject in school?  Was it the same as your best subject?

 

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Speak Up For Special Needs!

 

 

 

Was at the Early Years Centre this morning with my soon-to-be (next Wednesday!) 6 year old DS for its “Something Special” program offered every Thursday morning.  It’s a program where parents of kids with special needs and their children can come and play.  The toys put out are more sensory-based than when we regularly go there.

 

I was speaking with another mom whom I met last week.  Her son is entering Kindergarten this September and we have been chatting about how to advocate for your child.  She’s having an issue with her son playing soccer.  The coach’s son is bullying her child a bit, and instigating bad behaviour in her child.  I was offering suggestions of the type of language she can use with the assistant coach as she’s pretty sure the assistant coach is aware of the issue, based on comments he’s made in the past. 

 

She’s a very calm and quiet woman so I was trying to encourage her that this situation she’s encountered with soccer will be great practice for her in advocating for her son in Kindergarten in the fall.  The big difference she and I had walking into Kindergarten was that my son has an official diagnosis (of Autism) whereas her son doesn’t yet have a diagnosis. 

 

My kids had been in daycare prior to Kindergarten so we didn’t have to work on transitioning to school at all…especially since their former daycare centre was located in a school.  That made it a bit easier for my son.  In Grade 1 this September however, he will be attending a special needs class at school AND (hopefully) IBI will have started/be starting. 

 

My biggest advice to parents of children with special needs, diagnosed or not, is learn how to be assertive with the school system.  If your child can/may/will benefit from something, ask for it to be implemented.  If you work with the school, they will usually try to do as much to accommodate HOWEVER, also empower yourself with your school board’s policies related to special needs and special needs accommodation in the classroom.  Request a meeting with your principal (and teacher and Educational Assistant) prior to school starting, and continue to follow up until you get that meeting.  Be the “squeaky wheel” but please be nice about it. 

 

Arm yourself with information and knowledge because YOU are your child’s best

and sometimes ONLY advocate!

On The Injured List

 

 

 

Normally, school pick up entails picking the kids up, chatting with DS’s Educational Assistant for a few minutes to see how his day was, and then we head across the street to “the Butterfly Garden” if we have other plans, or the park then the Butterfly Garden then home. Yesterday, this is NOT what happened.

 

Everything looked normal until the supply EA let go of DS’s hand BEFORE I had ahold of his hand. In that split second, he bolted. Three adults went to grab him. We all missed. I’m sure it looked a bit like baseball players all going for a fly ball. I had been carrying DD and lost my footing. Down I went. DD was crying, DS started crying because DD was crying. Honestly, I was trying really hard not to start crying too. Unbelievable pain! A bunch of fellow kindergarteners were coming over asking if my daughter’s “mommy was okay”. All I could say was “no. I’m hurt. Please give me space”. My left knee was banged up, left foot toes were scraped, the side of my right foot was twisted…which made for a painful 2 minute drive home.

 

Some things I’m thankful for from this situation…

1. I was able to turn just a tiny bit when I was falling so I didn’t land on my daughter, and was still able to protect her from really hurting herself.
2. The kids’ father was able to take the kids overnight. There was no way I could handle the stairs in our home to put the kids to bed. We have a sunken bathroom with only two steps and those are hard enough to manage, let along the 20 or so steps to upstairs!
3. A friend of ours was with us for school pick up. He caught my son after he bolted, was able to carry him to our mini-van, get us home, help me into our home, manage my kids, and get them fed. He even told me to make a stop at Starbucks on the way home to get me my favourite Starbucks order…gawd he knows me! Thanks AS!
4. My neighbour kept my daughter entertained between our friend leaving and the kids’ father coming to pick them up. Thanks JM!
5. My daughter was and continues to be such an amazing help…she’s holding my hand to “help me” whenever I have to move somewhere this morning, and she even wrote me a “get well” card this morning too.

 

This morning’s biggest decision for me was, do I put the tensor bandage on my right foot or my left knee. Went with the right foot.