Morning #kid cuteness

This morning, I experienced moments that make everything worthwhile. The fact that my kids slept in until 7am was amazing. I woke up at 6:30, puttered around, did my own thing and enjoyed the quiet and stillness of the morning.

 

Just before 7am, I checked in on my daughter who had crawled into my bed overnight. She was soundly sleeping. I then checked in on my son who, as it turned out, was stirring awake. I crawled in beside him, said good morning and he quickly turned over, threw his arm around my neck and pulled me closer, while saying good morning too. We lay there cuddling for a while, and he would say “happy” and “I love you” a few times.

 

About 10 mins later, we went into my room to wake up my daughter. We both crawled into bed and I started rubbing her back. My son leaned over, said good morning, gave his sister a kiss, and rubbed her back too.  My daughter stirred awake, and cuddled up with me. For a few minutes, I had both my babies cuddled up to me, and everything was perfect in my world.

 

A few minutes later, my daughter jumped out of bed and we were up for the day.

The Most Important Part of a Parenting Plan is YOU (#AutismParentingMagazine)

I’m happy to be writing for a relatively new online magazine called Autism Parenting Magazine. They publish on iPad newstands, and soon will be available on Kindle and Android. This month’s magazine theme is “all things related to therapy”.  My article:

I attended the local monthly autism support group this week. Normally, there has been two or three families but this week, there were nine different families; some of us who have been on the journey for a while, and two who just received diagnosis (last month!), and one who has been fighting for diagnosis for seven years (SEVEN YEARS!!) and is still fighting. There were lots of tears. Tears of being overwhelmed by the “newbies”; tears of understanding from us “veterans.”

One of the newbies is a grandmother to the little one who has been diagnosed. She has been a superstar and went through everything to get diagnosis for her grandson, while her daughter (the child’s mother) is still in denial that there’s anything “wrong” with her son. The child lives with his mom, and grandmother is very involved. Superstar grandmother!
While shedding tears, grandmother confided in the group that she’s worried about doing something “wrong” with her grandson but she refuses to keep him hidden from the world. He still needs to experience everything…grocery shopping, park, playing with other kids, etc. She asked the group what the best thing is to help support her grandson. I spoke up…love him, and get support for yourself, too.

As parents (grandparents/caregivers), we are so good at searching out for the newest and “best” therapies, tools and strategies for our children. I argue there’s something different we need to ensure is in place in all parenting plans for all parents’ of kids with special needs: Look after yourself too!

Subscribe through your iPad Newstand or click here to read the rest of the article (pages 17 and 18).

Also, be sure to “Like” Autism Parenting Magazine and my blog (if you haven’t already) on Facebook.

#Autism at the grocery store

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism‘s Facebook Page. I absolutely love this! My daughter will tell people “My brother doesn’t talk. He has Autism” when people we don’t know ask him questions and he doesn’t answer. I do have to remind her though that if we give him enough time, he will answer. People always smile at this interaction.

“As we queued at the checkout the whispers began,
I could see the finger pointing from a lady and a man.

My little boy was stimming, flapping like a bird.
I suppose to those unknowledged it really seems absurd.
…
‘What’s wrong with your Son?’ they eventually asked.
I was taken aback but my Daughter answered fast.

‘Nothing’, she said, ‘he’s Autistic that’s all,
he’s unique, he is perfect he will never be cruel.’

‘Come on little brother, let’s have some fun,
let’s stim together,’ she said to my Son.

Then they both flapped their arms and jumped really high.
I honestly thought they were going to fly!

I was overwhelmed with pride as I watched them both stim.
I hadn’t realized just how much she loved him.

Relief flooded through me as I know when I’m gone
My beautiful Daughter will protect my amazing Son.

The whispering stopped and they quickly walked away.
Looking very guilty and embarrassed I would say.

The lesson I learnt as I stood in that line
is be proud of your children and all will be fine.”

~ Written by Karen Martin

What They Didn’t Tell Me About My Child’s #Autism

Borrowed from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism’s 

 Facebook Page

Here are some things you will not find in your research on autism:

You will not learn how this diagnosis will affect your marriage or other members of your family. You will not be told how it may fundamentally alter your perceptions of what is “normal,” how it may change your view of human beings, how it can force you to question small talk and why we behave the way we do, how it will transform your outlook on life, how it will change you, how your life and everything you assumed to be true, is no longer what you thought.

Having a child with autism may cause you to feel things you never dreamed possible. You may know moments of joy and moments of despair you could not have imagined. You may find yourself going to untold lengths in the hope of helping your child. You may feel distracted, unable to concentrate. Your work and career may suffer. You may learn what it is to be sleep deprived. You will come to know what it means to feel desperation. You will know sorrow in a way no one can prepare you for. You will know happiness in a way no one can prepare you for. Sometimes you may feel both sorrow and happiness within the same day, within the same hour, within the same minute.

You may spend money you do not have on yet another treatment, yet another doctor, yet another specialist, yet another therapy, yet another intervention, all the while rationalizing that if it helps, it will all be worth it. You may contemplate doing things you would have scoffed at before your child was diagnosed. You may find yourself trying things that defy logic and have no medical basis. You may listen to implausible, anecdotal stories and think — we will try that next. You may dream your child is speaking to you in full, complex, beautifully self aware and revealing sentences. You may wake from those dreams believing for a few seconds they were real and not a dream. You will pray that you might dream again. You will welcome sleep, as you never believed possible. You may ache with sadness because your child is crying and in pain and your presence brings them no solace. That ache may become unbearable when your child hits themselves in the face, bites their own arm or hand, punches their own legs or stomach. You may question every maternal instinct you have.

You may feel ecstasy from being hugged, unprompted. You may feel the exquisite joy from having your child reach for you, ask for you or look at you. You may know the joy that comes from seeing your child work so hard at something that does not come easily to them. You may celebrate when they use the bathroom unaided, drink from a cup, sleep for more than a few hours without waking you, try a new food or simply acknowledge your presence. You may feel a gratitude you would not have believed possible. You may cry from happiness when they say a word, any word, even if you are the only person who can understand what the word is. You will know what it is to appreciate commonplace things — eye contact, the correct use of the word “me,” “you” and “I,” physical contact initiated by your child, a word, any word spoken or a smile.

You will feel a fierce love for your child that seems to come from a place that is not of this world. You will know what it is to love unconditionally and you will understand what that really means.

#Autism for Dummies

Shared from Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism‘s Facebook page)

Here are a few things you need to know when dealing with kids with autism. Those of you that have typical kids, or love someone with autism, please take note:

1. Please don’t say to the parents, “can’t you just”. No we can’t just give him something else to do, distract him, blah blah blah. If we could, don’t you think we would?

2. Please don’t tell us to ignore his behavior. “Have you ever tried ignoring it when he tells you something repeatedly?” Well I challenge you to hear “I can eat dinner at 6″ every 30 seconds for five hours. Seriously.

3. Please don’t ask us “why do you think he is having a meltdown or why is he so upset?” when it seems to be for no apparent reason. Um because he has autism, that’s why. If I could get that info, I would.

4. Please don’t say the following, “wow you have so much on your plate”, or “oh you are a saint”. We have our plate and it’s no bigger than anyone elses. I am far from a saint and pity is really offensive. Everyone has life and parenting challenges.

5. Offer to help and mean it. If you want to help your friend or family member, babysit, come over and engage the kid, or just listen if we need someone to talk to. We don’t expect anyone to solve our problems, we just need empathy and action.

6. Don’t ask us if our kid is going to college, going to drive, or going to live on his own. We would have a better chance of drowning in the bathtub than knowing that.

7. Never give up on our kids. Never look at them and think they have limitations. They may be different but they are not less!!!

I am sure I can come up with more. Just like autism, nothing is as we expect it to be, so this is not a top ten list, it’s a top seven!

- via autisable.com