Sharing a Chuckle or Two

Every once in a while, I catch “bits” on the radio that I find interesting, and wanted to share for no reason other than sharing a smile and a chuckle.

The perfect formula for a lasting marriage

I tried really hard to hold back from laughing too much…call me cynical but I’m happy to be out of my marriage.  So, according to the study the radio show hosts were quoting, the perfect formula for a lasting (heterosexual) marriage includes:

• The wife being 5 years younger than the husband
• The wife has to be 27% smarter than the husband
• Similar cultural backgrounds
• The wife should have a college degree, and the husband should not

According to the research coordinator of the study “If people follow these guidelines in choosing their partners, they can increase their chances of a happy, long marriage by up to 20percent.”

Ummm…ok, who are these scientists and why is it that they are able to get funding for this kind of a study over something else (poverty, famine, world peace…and my personal preference…funding for services for Autism, but I’m biased)?!!  So, of course I Googled the study.  Here’s the link, in case you need some bedtime reading: “Optimizing the marriage market: An application of the linear assignment model”.

Personally, I just want to know where the 27% smarter data comes from!

What men’s hairstyle says about him

I have no idea which radio station I was listening to (yup, I channel hop my preset radio stations in my sexy mini-van), but this perked my ears.  I just Googled it and found the list, but on a different radio station site…oh well.

Part 1 – http://987ampradio.radio.com/2011/06/27/what-a-mans-hairstyle-says-about-him/

Part 2 – http://987ampradio.radio.com/2011/06/28/what-a-mans-hairstyle-says-about-him-pt-2/

And yes, I sent a completely random without any background text to my man, telling him what his hairstyle says about him. Why do you ask?

So, of course, out of curiosity, I Googled what a woman’s hairstyle says about her.  I’m pretty happy with my hair saying “Sexy, ultra-feminine, pretty” and “Sensual, flirty, low-maintenance, playful.  Best of all, long hair is best suited for women who are 5’7” and taller – good to know for this 5’10” gal!

 

30 Days of Me: Day 22 – How I’ve changed in last 2 years

Day 22 – How have you changed in the past 2 years

10 Biggest Causes of Stress

• Death of a spouse
• Divorce
• Marital separation
• Death of a close family member
• Jail term
• Major injury or illness
• Marriage
• Being fired from work
• Marital reconciliation
• Retirement

Just to name a few, in the last 2 years…

• my grandfather passed away
• my marriage ended
• stopped working outside the home
• we’ve moved twice
• I’ve been through my first surgery in my life
• my kids started at two new schools
• started dating
• started a new relationship
• my son is starting IBI therapy for Autism

So, of the 10 Biggest Causes of Stress, I have been through 5 of them.  I have been emotional/logical, strong/weak, sensitive/bitchy, calm/basket case, sad/happy, angry/ecstatic, etc.  It’s been an emotional time, full of highs and lows but it’s all made me stronger, more aware, and more willing to ask for help.  The best thing though that has resulted is knowing who my true friends are…I’m proud to call each and every one of them true friends.

How have you changed in the last 2 years?

 

30 Days of Me: Day 19 – My Biggest Regret

Day 19 – Your biggest regret in life

 

Even though I have 3 college diplomas and certificates, I regret not finishing my university degree.  I had planned on doing an exchange through the degree I was studying, alas, that did not happen either.  One day, I hope to return to finish my degree, but that will need to wait a few years until the kids and I are back on our feet again and my son has finished IBI.   Accredited online colleges are another option for finishing a university degree when you are a busy mom.

 

I wouldn’t say that I regret it per say, but I am disappointed that I lost my voice and my sense of self in my marriage.  Not ready to share anything other than that yet, as I’m still trying to work my way through it all – takes a long time when one has 6 year old twins! They are kind of distracting. 

What is your biggest regret?

 

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I never know what to say

Moving to a new town means a new home, new surroundings, new experiences, new schedules and meeting new people (or reconnecting with childhood friends like I am since we moved back to my hometown).  I’m not a shy person (by far!) so I have no problem striking up a conversation with someone.  Eventually though, the dreaded question is asked… “So, what do you do for a living?”. 

 

As a former career-girl, I’m still quite tongue-tied by this question.  I proudly use to say that I had to find a man who was willing and able to be the stay at home dad because I was going back to work as soon as I could after giving birth.  My career was my focus, and I was proud of it.  Having children changed everything!  When I HAD to go back to work when my twins were 3 months old because I didn’t have benefits (in Canada, we can take up to a year) so my (now ex-) husband stayed home for 7 months as his work had top-up.  Since then, I have regretted having to go back to work and I’m glad I get the opportunity to be with them now.

 

A year and a half ago, I unexpectedly became a SAHM, partly because I couldn’t find childcare and partly (mostly) because of my marriage breaking up.  Last fall, I had secured a full time contract back in my former career, at a level where it was as if I hadn’t been away from that career track for 4 years.  Unfortunately, 6 weeks into the position, my childcare fell through.  Finding care for my daughter is easy because she’s “neurotypical” but finding care for my son is a bit more complicated because he has Autism. 

 

When I say that my job is looking after my kids, I’m still not at the point of saying it with pride, even though I am very proud of it!  Friends have looked after my kids for the odd commitment I’ve had where their father couldn’t take them, and they usually tell me that they don’t know how I do it, they didn’t realize how much my son needed to be watched like a hawk, and that I make it look so easy. ~Blush~

 

So, when I’m asked what I do for a living, I tend to use the past tense: “I used to be a fundraiser, and an organizer, now I’m a SAHM.”  Logically, I know that if anyone else has a “problem” with it or looks down on me for “wasting” my university education and 2 college diplomas on being a SAHM, that’s their problem.  The question is, how do I change my own thinking so I can stop being “apologetic” to myself about being a SAHM? 

 

Perhaps I should switch out the words “Stay-At-Home-Mom” with the 2^nd definition of the acronym “SAHM” on this online dictionary … “Sexy And Hot Momma”…tee hee…  

 

42 Years and Counting…

Today is my parents’ 42nd wedding anniversary. As each year goes by, I’m amazed at the length of their marriage and there’s definitely no end in sight. If that’s not “enough”, my parents have also been working together in their own business for 32 years!

My dad is a very passionate and opinionated man – which has caused some conflict between us over the years but we are either best of friends, or at each other’s throats…that’s just the way it is. I’m NOT admitting that we are very similar, not at all. He has been a proud Rotarian forever and to me, exemplifies Rotary’s guidelines: “It is the truth? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better fellowship?”

My mom is an absolute saint and everyone loves her as soon as they meet her. She’s a beautiful (inside and out) Brit, who is passionate about gardening and Golden Retrievers. Until recently, she and another local woman in town ran the Dog Therapy program in town, training dogs (and their owners!) to go into retirement homes to visit the residents.

My family has a history of long marriages. It wasn’t until my paternal grandparents celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary that I found out it was actually my grandfather’s SECOND marriage. They had professional photos taken in their garden for their 50^th anniversary and the photos captured them perfectly…they were in eachother’s arms. My grandmother was perfectly groomed and accessorized, looking at the camera with a calm smile, while my grandfather was looking at her with admiration and his hair was all wind-blown and very “crazy scientist-like” (which, he actually was!).

My maternal grandmother passed away early in life. I was always amazed that my maternal grandfather still referred to her as “my wife” whenever he spoke of her…which wasn’t often, but still…

My biological grandfather was married forever as well (not sure the actual length but I’m sure it was over 50 years too) and he spoke very fondly of his wife who passed away a few years before he did.

When my own marriage ended early 2010, I wasn’t in the frame of mind to pay much attention to my parents’ wedding anniversary last year (not even sure if I congratulated them…oops). This year however, it has caused me some reflection. Although I’m still legally married, my marriage ended after 6.5 years. How on earth have my parents made it for 42 years??!!! I actually asked my mom that last year what has made their marriage work, and her answer was “communication and respect”. Seems simple, and yet those two things weren’t in my marriage…on either party’s side (among other things, but that’s for another day). I’m still in the frame of mind of not knowing if marriage is something I will ever enter into again, but with the end of my marriage, I have developed a sense of awe and wonder about how other couples make their marriage work for so long.