Step Mom Magazine updated their Facebook status recently asking if any stepmoms in a certain area in the US were available to host events. I sent them a message stating that if they were looking to host events in Canada, I was their girl. Brenda (the editor) and I chatted through Facebook for a couple days, and then she found out I have a blog and asked if I would mind reviewing the magazine. I was excited about the opportunity, and after reading through the April issue of the magazine, it did NOT disappoint.
The articles were honest, informative and right on point. Two articles from the April issue were a very interesting read for me:
- Moms and Stepmoms – Can’t We All Just Get Along?
- Venom from the Ex-Wife – She Doesn’t Hate You, She Hates What You Represent
I always heard and continue to hear from girlfriends who have this horrible relationship with the mother of their stepchildren. I never had that. We just didn’t have a relationship (until my ex and divorced…then we had LOTS to talk about!). All details were determined between my then husband and his ex. In fact, I remember vividly once when they were in Court when I was pregnant and we were all in a smaller room in the courthouse trying to mediate some points. The two of them were arguing and he brought up about how much she must hate me because I make him happy and was having twins which he claimed was what she always wanted. I was shocked embarrassed, and just plain horrified he would say that. She just calmly said that no, she didn’t hate me; that she actually thought I was very nice. I was stunned, and really happy from that comment. I am a Libra after all…we want everyone to like us!
The article entitled “Stepmoms and Anxiety” describes anxiety really well, whether or not you are a stepmom, and explains realistic tools to incorporate in your every day life. A real-life situation is listed and the inner monologue broken down to reduce the anxiety associated.
In “Intrinsic Motivation”, there are 2 points listed for homework which I’m going to try:
- “Every time you find yourself looking to your outside world to explain your unhappiness, shift to taking responsibility for your internal world.”
- “Whenever you find yourself blaming another (the ex, your partner, your stepchildren, your boss), or using an excuse, ask yourself how you can be more accountable for your inner state.”
The April issue was a great trip down memory lane, back to the beginning of my marriage, when I first became a stepmom. I’m blessed that, despite being divorced from her father, my stepdaughter and I have a great relationship, and I look forward to every time she comes to visit us.