#StepMomMagazine – April Issue Review

Step Mom Magazine updated their Facebook status recently asking if any stepmoms in a certain area in the US were available to host events. I sent them a message stating that if they were looking to host events in Canada, I was their girl. Brenda (the editor) and I chatted through Facebook for a couple days, and then she found out I have a blog and asked if I would mind reviewing the magazine. I was excited about the opportunity, and after reading through the April issue of the magazine, it did NOT disappoint.

 

The articles were honest, informative and right on point. Two articles from the April issue were a very interesting read for me:

• Moms and Stepmoms – Can’t We All Just Get Along?
• Venom from the Ex-Wife – She Doesn’t Hate You, She Hates What You Represent

 

I always heard and continue to hear from girlfriends who have this horrible relationship with the mother of their stepchildren. I never had that. We just didn’t have a relationship (until my ex and divorced…then we had LOTS to talk about!). All details were determined between my then husband and his ex. In fact, I remember vividly once when they were in Court when I was pregnant and we were all in a smaller room in the courthouse trying to mediate some points. The two of them were arguing and he brought up about how much she must hate me because I make him happy and was having twins which he claimed was what she always wanted. I was shocked embarrassed, and just plain horrified he would say that. She just calmly said that no, she didn’t hate me; that she actually thought I was very nice. I was stunned, and really happy from that comment. I am a Libra after all…we want everyone to like us!

 

The article entitled “Stepmoms and Anxiety” describes anxiety really well, whether or not you are a stepmom, and explains realistic tools to incorporate in your every day life. A real-life situation is listed and the inner monologue broken down to reduce the anxiety associated.

 

In “Intrinsic Motivation”, there are 2 points listed for homework which I’m going to try:

• “Every time you find yourself looking to your outside world to explain your unhappiness, shift to taking responsibil­ity for your internal world.”
• “Whenever you find your­self blaming another (the ex, your partner, your stepchildren, your boss), or using an excuse, ask yourself how you can be more accountable for your inner state.”

 

The April issue was a great trip down memory lane, back to the beginning of my marriage, when I first became a stepmom. I’m blessed that, despite being divorced from her father, my stepdaughter and I have a great relationship, and I look forward to every time she comes to visit us.

 

Can’t wait to read the May issue, which is now released. Go check it out!

 

Meghan was given a one-year subscription in exchange for reviews of Step Mom Magazine.

Silly #BucketList

I found this Bucket List on a friend of mine’s personal Facebook and thought I would share what I’ve done on the list…just ‘cuz. Plus, I was actually surprised at the number I’ve done!

(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Been to Canada
(  ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(  ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
(  ) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(  ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently coloured with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(  ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
(  ) Made prank phone calls
(  ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(  ) Danced in the rain-naked
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(  ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(  ) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
(  ) Been deep sea fishing
(  ) Driven across the United States
(  ) Been in a hot air balloon
(  ) Been sky diving
(x) Gone snowmobiling
(  ) Lived in more than one country
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
(  ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
(x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
(  ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
(  ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
(x) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
(x) Been to Disneyland
(  ) Been to Disney World
(x) Truly believe in the power of prayer
(x) Been in a rain forest
(  ) Seen whales in the ocean
(x) Been to Niagara Falls
(x) Ridden on an elephant
(  ) Swam with dolphins
(  ) Been to the Olympics
(  ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
(  ) Saw and heard a glacier cave
(  ) Been spinnaker flying
(  ) Been water-skiing
(x) Been snow-skiing
(x) Been to Westminster Abbey
(x) Been to the Louvre
(  ) Swam in the Mediterranean
(x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(  ) Been to a National Football League game

Wordless Wednesday – #Sammich Funny

My man and I had a huge laugh when I showed him what showed up on my personal Facebook Newsfeed after Just For Grins had posted it:

Because of the “sammiches” he makes for me…

          

 

Such a spoilt girl!

World #Autism Awareness Day FAQs – Day 2

Question from one of my friends when I invited them to ask questions on my personal Facebook:

“I want to know just how wide is the diagnosed spectrum?”.

Well, the saying “When you’ve met one person with Autism, you’ve only met one person with Autism” is true. Some children are considered to be low-functioning, some high-functioning, and some in between, all in comparison to other kids without Autism of the same age. So the width of the Spectrum is frankly, huge…but always presents characteristics and behavioural traits that lead specialists to diagnose that child with Autism. The definition of Autism according to Wikipedia is:

“as a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired

social interaction and communication,

and by restricted and repetitive behaviour”

 

Common characteristics that parents initially present to their family doctor include some and/or all of the following:

• no eye contact
• don’t point using their index finger
• using someone else to point
• start talking and stop
• line up items such as toys, etc
• toe-walking
• stimming (repeated body movements such as hand flapping, rocking, head butting)
• unusual responses to people or attachments to objects
• resistance to changes in routines
• sensitivities (hyper- or under-) to things like sounds, tastes, etc

More information is available on the Autism Ontario website.

 

When we started on this journey, we approached the doctor when my son was 18months old, saying that he had been talking but stopped (whereas his sister started a bit later but kept on talking), didn’t make eye contact with anyone but me, used his father and I’s hands to point to items, and was lining up all his toys. It took another 2 years to get official diagnosis, where he was classified as “severe” but for those who know my son in person, they are amazed as this. He’s a happy little boy, with a smile that lights up the room, can work his way around Youtube like no one’s business, has made amazing developmental leaps in the last couple of years, is a funny dancer, and best of all…is talking! He doesn’t speak the way other 7, almost 8 year old little boys do, but his speech is one of the sweetest sounds I’ve ever heard…primarily because I’ve waited so long to hear it.

World #Autism Awareness Day FAQs – Day 1

To honour World Autism Awareness Day today, I posted the following on my personal Facebook:

“April 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day; April is World Autism Awareness Month. What do you want to know about Autism and how we live with it?”

I received FANTASTIC questions from my personal friends and thought I would post each one with my response, one per day until they stop asking questions. So, the first question is a two-part question, which I will answer separately.

 

“I want to know why it’s on the rise.”

So do I!! Until we know the cause of Autism, we won’t know for sure why the diagnosis rate is rising. Personally, I believe that it’s a genetic predisposition with a potential environmental trigger that “releases” Autism in someone. It’s a fascinatingly complicated disorder, that is filled with tons of highs and lows.

 

Is it only in the “western world” that we are in with this or is it being noticed also in other places (EU, China, etc)?

Honestly, I had to research to answer this question. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve been very North American-centric in watching diagnosis rates increase. When we started on this journey, the rate was 1 in 150 in the US (don’t remember what the stats were in Canada at the time). Now, almost 6 years later, the CDC just released stats of 1 in 50 in the US (whereas last year, it was 1 in 88 in the US). The latest numbers I’ve found in Canada are 1 in 100, from a few years ago.

 

So, after some research elsewhere in the world, here are stats I can find:

According to Autism Europe:

• 1 in 150 children diagnosed in Europe
• They estimate 5 million people live with Autism in Europe
• Can’t find a date for these numbers but they are the same dates in the media information the organization is releasing for World Autism Awareness Day for 2013.

 

China has proved to be very difficult to find information and I’m not sure what information source is considered to be “valid” or reputable. But, I have found some:

• According to china.org.cn, the rate is 14% of population born, which is an estimated 1.8million children in China. This number is from 2004.
• According to EzineArticles:
  • Autism is called “zi bi zheng” in Chinese (doesn’t state which dialect).
  • No one was diagnosed with Autism until the 1980s in China
  • There are 100 doctors in China who are qualified to make an official diagnosis of Autism
• According to Autism World:

- Rates could be anywhere from 1% to 4% of the population, which ranges from 1.3million to 7.8million children with Autism

 

According to the National Autistic Society in the UK, the rate is 1 in 150.

 

I haven’t been able to find an internationally recognized assessment tool to actually diagnose Autism. I know what the assessments are in Canada, having been through the process twice now. I’m not sure if the same assessments are used outside of Canada, let alone in non-English speaking countries.

 

A couple words about the most recent CDC findings, estimating the rate in the US to be 1 in 50…honestly, I question the legitimacy of these findings. From my research when it was released, 57,000 households were called in the US, asking them to participate in a survey about children’s health. 1 in 50 was determined from this survey. I wonder why stats weren’t compiled from actual diagnosis numbers throughout the country so, until those numbers are released, I personally will quote “1 in 88 in the US” as the rate.

Dumped My Purse

Kelley’s Breakroom has a feature on her Facebook Page where people “Dump their purse“. It’s exactly what it sounds like: dump the contents of your purse, take a picture, and then of course the next step is to clean it out before putting everything back, but that last part is left out of the feature on her Page.

 

So, I dumped my purse for her:

I’m honoured by her comments about who I am and my blog (and her wonder if my home is as neat as my purse…blush!):

Today I’m A Mom Too has dumped her purse! Meghan is a single mom of 7-year-old twins- one boy and one girl. One of her kids has autism. She writes great stories about her kids that will bring a smile to your face. As for her purse, it brings a smile to my face and then a frown, because I realize mine is not as neat as hers at all. My sons would LOVE that loose change she’s got going on in there. She is well prepared, right? I wonder if her house is as neat as her purse? After you stare in awe of her stuff, go give her a like on Facebook. I know she’d love to see you! Thanks, Meghan!

 

I didn’t think my purse was that neat but apparently it is. I’m surprised Kelley didn’t mention that there’s a half-eaten Christmas candycane, plus I’m so Canadian…the small white bottle is lock de-icer for my car locks. It may officially be spring here but the forecast is supposed to be a low of -3 degrees Celsius today.

 

For the record, the green case is for my reading glasses…that I’ve worn since I was 16. They were BIFOCALS back then because I couldn’t see the blackboard through my prescription. Schmexy! No more bifocals thanks to advances in eyewear technology over the last few decades to make frames smaller…and not needing to look at a blackboard anymore.

My #Blog – Year in Review

Just wanted to take a moment to review my blog for 2012.

My 5 most popular posts were:

• 12 Things Happy People Do Differently
• Drink Recipe from #Pinterest (check out my Pinterest Page, which I started in 2012)
• 42 Years and Counting (although I wrote it in May 2011 so I’m intrigued by this!)
• Autism Story: Tommy Hilfiger
• Motivational Monday – Surround Yourself with True Friends

The posts I enjoyed writing the most:

• Life Lessons Learning While Skating
• Day 7 – Letter to your ex
• Moms Groups Rock!
• I am Finally Learning…
• Autism Just Changes the Angle of Viewing the World
• My Ode to my Dishwasher
• My Decluttering Secret

My Facebook Page and Twitter account are the most popular ways for people to find my blog in 2012.

Thanks for reading my blog!

My #decluttering secret

I’ll let you in on a little secret…I <3 Flylady! Her decluttering and cleaning system is simple and straightforward. I discovered her early on in my marriage as I was frustrated with never being able to keep up with keeping our home decluttered, let alone clean. My childhood home was magically clean all the time. My mom was and is a superstar. She spent every Saturday morning cleaning the house, before we even woke up, and because of the very hairy Golden Retrievers we had, she also brought in a cleaning lady every other week as well. Leaving home, I had no idea what to do other than what I had learned in Home Economics in Grades 7 and 8.

 

Although the ex hubby “supported” my want to implement the system, he would complain about Flylady’s terminology of a “Control Journal”. All the huffing meant that I just signed up for the Flylady’s emails, read them, and didn’t do much about it other than “swish and swipe” and wish I could create a Control Journal, but it just wasn’t worth the “discussions”.

 

After the kids were born, I did a loose version of Flylady, and felt really great when someone came over for a playdate and incredulously told me that she “hated” that my place was always tidy, and how did I do it, especially with twins. I felt great and really wanted to implement the full system, but again the term “Control Journal” was complained about.

 

Life got in the way, years went by, but I continued to “swish and swipe” and meal plan (which also included cooking all the meals for the week on the weekend). Then the marriage ended and the kids and I were on our own. Desperately wanted to create our Control Journal to feel like I had some type of control over life again, even went so far as to buy one to fill out, but in the head space I was in (ie: not wanting to get out of bed but had to because of the kids), I just couldn’t complete it.

 

Over the years, I have mentioned Flylady to dozens of people when they are mentioning not being able to keep up with house management. I’m finally in the headspace and physical space where I’m going head-on with house and family management. A couple friends of mine have recently gotten on board too, and we were really worried about losing momentum, so we started a Facebook Page, where we can comment and keep each other motivated. I also love listening to her on BlogTalkRadio: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/flylady.

 

I’m also at the end of taking a home management course that a girlfriend (who is a professional organizer) is running. It’s based on Kathy Peel’s book “The Busy Mom’s Guide to a Happy, Organized Home”. She breaks down the home into 7 departments and each one has a dedicated chapter in the book.

 

Being in the course has “jumpstarted” me back into the right frame of mind. It’s a slow start, but the great thing with Flylady is that she always says that your home didn’t get cluttered overnight, it’s not going to get tidied overnight either.

 

A link I wanted to share for those of us celebrating Christmas is a Flylady list of clutter-less gift giving. 

(This is not a sponsored post. I just <3 Flylady and wanted to share the information, especially with people making New Year’s Resolutions soon, which may include getting clutter under control in your home.)

The Wonder of a Weighted Blanket (#Autism)

In the Autism community, we are very well aware that Autism and sleep do NOT go together.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times my son has slept through the night more than 2 nights in a row. Some nights, he can get himself back to sleep fairly quickly (within a half hour) but the majority of nights, he’s up for what I call his “Autism party”, which means he’s up and playing in his room for anywhere from 2 – 4 hours, which also means I’m awake for that time too.  I’ve tried everything I could think of, including taking everything out of his room so there’s no incentive to play between 1am and 5am. My research brought me to weighted blankets, but honestly, as a single mom, the price (along with shipping costs) was too much.

A month ago, Weight on Me – Weighted Blankets held a contest on Facebook. It was so popular that initially the winner could win two weighted blankets, and quickly Jodi (the owner of Weight on Me) added a 2^nd place prize of winning one weighted blanket.

Part of the contest was to have other people “Like” your comment, and “Like” Weight on Me’s Facebook page. I entered the contest, posted on my personal Facebook, moms groups, and other groups I belong to.  I was completely overwhelmed by the help I received from friends, online friends and friends of my friends. Over 200 people helped us win 2^nd prize – HUGE thank you to each and every one of them!

My son surprised me by choosing a Spiderman blanket (there were other fabrics I thought he would choose over the Spiderman one, but at the end of the day, he’s still a boy!), I ordered it, and within a week, we had our blanket:

 

Most amazing of all…my son has slept through the night EVERY NIGHT (except for one where he got up to go to the washroom so that doesn’t count…he went right back to sleep) since receiving the blanket!! 

I’ve chatted with Jodi via email quite a bit since the contest and she herself has an amazing story so we’ll be sharing her story next week too. I just love that she sees every blanket as being a “hug”.

So, THANK YOU again to everyone who helped my son and I finally sleep!!

 

Thankful Thursday – 06/07

This week, I’m thankful for:

• my son and daughter
• spending a lazy, rainy weekend with my kids last weekend
• my personal Facebook community – they helped me win a weighted blanket for my son (more details and pictures to follow)!
• being able to attend my daughter‘s school trip to an organic farm

What are you thankful for this week?