Six years ago today, I started the greatest journey of my life; the hardest job I will ever have; the most rewarding thing to happen to me…my amazing kids turn 6 today!
My entire life, I had been petrified of giving birth, and not just the usual fear that women have the first time around of giving birth. I always told my mother to just knock me out and wake me up when it was over. Little did I know that I would be one of “those” women…the women that “didn’t know” they were in labour. If I hadn’t had a doctor’s appointment that day, I would imagine my son would have been born in the car on the way to the hospital (he was “Baby A”). Only TWENTY minutes of pushing…for TWO babies! I know, you hate me now. They were five weeks early and weighed 5lbs 10oz (daughter) and 6lbs 5oz (my son)…kinda glad they didn’t go full term!
Everyone comments immediately after meeting my daughter or seeing a photo of her that she looks exactly like me. When they were really young, their father walked into the nursery to find me crying while I was looking at her. He panicked a bit and, after realizing that the babies were both okay, asked me what was wrong. I turned to him and told him “she looks like me!” and continued crying. Thankfully, he understood what I meant. I’m adopted and had never seen a familial resemblance before. When I saw it for the first time, it was overwhelming.
Whenever I show my daughter pictures of me as a kid, she gets this cute look on her face and says “it’s me, but why do I have straight hair?”. She has strawberry-blond wavy hair (with ringlets that appear underneath when she’s too hot), and green eyes. She’s tall, athletic and has a voracious curiosity about life that is completely admirable. She’s a great mixture of girly-girl who loves superheros (Spiderman is her fav), mighty machines, and wants to be a princess when she gets older because she wants her own castle.
Everyone comments on how tall my son is as he’s 2” taller than she is and 15lbs (!!!) heavier. He has dirty blond hair, blue-grey eyes, and the biggest smile I’ve EVER seen – which has become even cuter now that he’s lost his first two teeth. J He’s got their father’s side of the family’s build (football player) and my height (I’m taller than their father).
My son has Autism, but that’s just a small part of his make-up. He was born with an “old soul” look to him. He has a calm thoughtfulness to him, happily playing by himself, exploring his world the way he wants to explore, until he gets really excited when he gets very loud and excited. His obsession is letters. He is always writing, typing, and creating letters out of whatever materials he can find…blocks, playdoh, etc. Normally, he’s writing out Walt Disney movie-related words, specifically from the credits, but he’s been surprising us all in that last six months where he’s been connecting words he’s writing/creating with the world around him.
They teach me so much about myself: my abilities and weaknesses, my patience and my pressure points, how protective I can be and yet how much of a laissez-faire attitude I can have. I was proud to be a career-driven woman, then I became a mother, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world. They are my greatest achievements and I don’t regret changing my focus to them at all.