42 Years and Counting…

Today is my parents’ 42nd wedding anniversary. As each year goes by, I’m amazed at the length of their marriage and there’s definitely no end in sight. If that’s not “enough”, my parents have also been working together in their own business for 32 years!

My dad is a very passionate and opinionated man – which has caused some conflict between us over the years but we are either best of friends, or at each other’s throats…that’s just the way it is. I’m NOT admitting that we are very similar, not at all. He has been a proud Rotarian forever and to me, exemplifies Rotary’s guidelines: “It is the truth? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better fellowship?”

My mom is an absolute saint and everyone loves her as soon as they meet her. She’s a beautiful (inside and out) Brit, who is passionate about gardening and Golden Retrievers. Until recently, she and another local woman in town ran the Dog Therapy program in town, training dogs (and their owners!) to go into retirement homes to visit the residents.

My family has a history of long marriages. It wasn’t until my paternal grandparents celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary that I found out it was actually my grandfather’s SECOND marriage. They had professional photos taken in their garden for their 50^th anniversary and the photos captured them perfectly…they were in eachother’s arms. My grandmother was perfectly groomed and accessorized, looking at the camera with a calm smile, while my grandfather was looking at her with admiration and his hair was all wind-blown and very “crazy scientist-like” (which, he actually was!).

My maternal grandmother passed away early in life. I was always amazed that my maternal grandfather still referred to her as “my wife” whenever he spoke of her…which wasn’t often, but still…

My biological grandfather was married forever as well (not sure the actual length but I’m sure it was over 50 years too) and he spoke very fondly of his wife who passed away a few years before he did.

When my own marriage ended early 2010, I wasn’t in the frame of mind to pay much attention to my parents’ wedding anniversary last year (not even sure if I congratulated them…oops). This year however, it has caused me some reflection. Although I’m still legally married, my marriage ended after 6.5 years. How on earth have my parents made it for 42 years??!!! I actually asked my mom that last year what has made their marriage work, and her answer was “communication and respect”. Seems simple, and yet those two things weren’t in my marriage…on either party’s side (among other things, but that’s for another day). I’m still in the frame of mind of not knowing if marriage is something I will ever enter into again, but with the end of my marriage, I have developed a sense of awe and wonder about how other couples make their marriage work for so long.

My Happiness List

Optimom is famous for giving out “homework” to help people discover their passion in life. My homework was to ask 5 others how they define happiness. Have to admit that I haven’t asked people, other than posting it on Twitter, but have definitely been through lots of reflection in determining how I define happiness.

 

The first things that popped into my head were all related to my kids; when:

• they were born
• they smile
• we have cuddle time
• they are playing together and not trying to kill eachother
• my kids wink at me
• DD makes her cute sleeping sounds
• DS hugs me so hard that I think my head is going to pop off
• I wake up to find DD has crawled into bed with me overnight
• DS hugs me and says “home”

 

All of these are great HOWEVER, I realized that my happiness was being determined by someone else. More reflection required.

 

So, I started thinking back to when I have felt happiest and when people tell me my smile is the biggest. Here’s my “happy list” and why:

• Dancing – whether it’s lessons or out with friends. I’m trained in classical ballet and just love any kind of dance!
• Skating – I took lessons for years and years. There’s something very “freeing” when I’m on the ice
• Water – I lived in Vancouver, BC for a number of years and, now my favourite place in Hamilton is down at the waterfront.
• Public Speaking – yup, one of the top fears for almost everyone else in the world is actually one of my “happy places”
• Go Karting – my (then) hubby took me go-karting once and I absolutely loved it!
• Reading – the journey is endless
• Writing – there’s something freeing about just starting to write, whether it’s my blog or journaling
• Helping Others – I’m a true Libra…helping others is what drives me!

 

I’m sure other things will pop into my head as I further reflect on this question…but that’s why @optimom is so awesome. Very simple homework assignments that inspire true reflection.

 

So, I turn the homework over to you now…what makes you happiest?

 

PS – I was not paid for this post…I happen to be blessed to know Optimom IRL (in real life)

Extreme Couponing Wannabe

I was planning on going to be relatively early last night but made the mistake of checking Twitter first. Someone tweeted about Extreme Couponing being on TLC…damn. Another hour of my life disappeared. I’ll admit it…I’m an extreme coupon wannabe.

I experience a type of “high” when watching these people on Extreme Couponing as the cash register rings in hundreds of dollars and all those coupons bring the price down to 0% – 10% of the actual retail value. What drives me crazy though is that the only way it seems to be able to do that kind of extreme couponing, one has to live in the US. Grrr.

My couponing experience has been very slow, but I’m trying to change that. When my kids were born, I was found out there is a “VIB – Very Important Baby” points program at Shoppers Drug Mart. It increases the points available for items purchased for babies and moms, which was VERY handy when buying diapers for twins! The points system was so good when the kids were born that I would guess for the first couple of years, I had enough points after almost every transaction to get free products when I redeemed the points. Shoppers Drug Mart changed the point system late last year, so one has to buy more to redeem points, but I just save up the points for when money is tight.

Last Christmas was my first Christmas as a single mom. Knowing I couldn’t afford many presents at full retail price, I went searching on Kijiji.ca for items I knew my kids would like…and it worked! I spent less than $100 on gifts for my 5yo twins and Christmas decorations, plus gas to pick everything up (which wasn’t as expensive in December!). The Christmas tree was beautifully decorated, gifts were aplenty without being extravagant, and the kids were not impacted by the reduced income in our home so we were able to enjoy the time together.

I have used Save.ca and Websaver.ca sporadically over the years, but whenever I went online to find other similar websites, I was frustrated with the MAJORITY of online coupon websites only being valid in the US. Then I found Extreme Couponing Mom on Facebook! I’m totally addicted to checking her posts on Facebook, and going through everything on her website. I’ve even ordered her e-book and binder kit (which includes more coupons) and am so looking forward to receiving both! I think the last time I was this excited about having purchased something was when I ordered labels from Mabel’s Labels!

I don’t have the space for the stockpiles the families on TLC’s Extreme Couponing have, but if I can save money each week, it goes a really long way for my kids and I.

(PS – I wasn’t paid for any of these mentions…I just really like sharing when I find great products and services!!)

Special Sunday with Daughter

DD and I went to my parents’ farm for our “Special Sunday” (where the ex and I split up the twins so we have one-on-one time with each) and had our first overnight there, just the two of us. When I suggested an overnight stay to DD, I didn’t think she would be receptive because DS wouldn’t be there with us but she was very excited about sleeping in the “pink room” (Guess what colour the walls are in that spare room?).

When we got there, Grampa and Noni were building a room and DD was right in there helping out. Soon DD was decked out in a yellow hard hat and a gardening belt to hold screws in, and was being Grampa’s helper, handing him screws whenever he needed them. She would help Noni bring in more wood as needed for construction. All around, a GREAT helper!

After about two hours of that (what kid has that kind of attention span?!), she started getting bored so she and I went for a walk along the path at the back of the farm. We were checking out all the flowers, birds and nature along the path. At one point, DD threw her hands in the air and declared “Nature is sssoooo beautiful!”.

That night, as I was putting her to bed, it dawned on me that she was literally sleeping in my childhood bed. My heart became overwhelmed. The bedding was even the same summer sheets I had growing up! Only my mother can keep sheets for 20 years and they still look new…it’s a skill, I tell you!

Before DD went to bed, she told Grampa, Noni and I that she had “to do homework for Grade 1 as soon as I wake up”. Umm…you’re in SK and it’s May, but okay. We put a pad of paper and pencil in the pink room for her and, first thing in the morning, she came into the room I was sleeping in and told me that she didn’t have a pen (one of the cats had used it as a toy overnight) so I went searching for a pen at 6am, and she spent the next half hour in the pink room, at the desk, doing her “homework”. It was full of numbers and math signs! How awesome is that?!!

There were so many moments during our trip to my parents’ where I was just amazed at how grown up my 5yo DD is, and I’m so thankful to be able to get to know her more each and every time we have a special day together.

Rapture Ramblings

So, the world is supposed to end today… “Rapture” as they call it. Honestly, I had to Google it to find out more and, as I was reading all this doomsday crapstuff, a new headline popped up “Rapture deadline passes, world still here”. What?! It’s 10am here! More research. Ahh…there are supposed to be powerful earthquakes at 6pm in each time zone. So, as a highschool friend of mine posted on his Facebook, it’s supposed to be a “rolling Rapture”. Australia has now experienced 6pm and they are still alive. Yay!

More research has turned up that apparently those of us left on Earth, will suffer Hell until October 21^st when God will finally pull the plug once and for all. Wait, it took God 6 days to create Earth, but 5 months to destroy it? What am I missing here? I thought it was faster to destroy things than create them, after all it takes builders YEARS to build a huge skyscraper, but only a few minutes to blast it down.

Came across this article entitled After the Rapture, Who Will Walk Your Dog? As a dog-lover, I just had to check that out.  It’s a pet service offering to look after your pets post-Rapture for $135, no money-back guarantee if there’s no Rapture. My favourite quote is from the owner of the service: “What we try to do is reassure our clients that they can trust us, number one,” he says. And if that isn’t good enough, Centre suggests clients “find a friend who may be a Jew, a Hindu, a Muslim, an Atheist, a Wiccan, a Catholic, an Episcopal, anyone they think is not going to be Raptured and appoint them as their post-Rapture power of attorney.” LMAO!! One of the comments on the article sums it all up in my mind: “If my dog can’t come with me then I am not going.”

Then there’s the Rapture Ready website. WAY too much information but scrolling down the website (apparently they skipped Website Design 101), came across the “Featured End of Time Writers” section. Firstly, how do you include that on a resume or explain it in an interview post-Rapture? Yes, I was a Featured End of Time Writer, but it didn’t happen so I need a job. Secondly, I was shocked to see my grandfather’s name there! Even more shocking that he passed away a number of years ago.

The best post I’ve seen though about today’s Rapture is from a Twitter friend @BloggyMoms: A Rapture Forecast.  I LOVE IT!

At the end of the daytime, I hope I’m going to Heaven because I know my kids will be there, but if I’m staying to ensure Hell on Earth, then I’m keeping all of you with me…much better party that way!

Introducing…

I’ve written a few different blogs over the past couple of years, very topic-specific. For the last year and a half, I have found myself as a SAHM to my beautiful 5 year old twins, boy/girl. Always knew that being a SAHM was the toughest job in the world, but I didn’t realize it was this tough! As with any job, there are good days and bad days, highs and lows. The great thing about twins though is that there may be double the mess but there’s also double the hugs and kisses…which are the greatest payment one can receive.

So, while I’m muddling my way through being chef (trust me, I use that term lightly!), laundromat, cleaner (another lightly used term), personal assistant, “doctor mom”, chauffeur, coach, social calendar manager, educational consultant, Autism advocate, and many other roles I’m discovering every single day, I thought I would share my madness with the world. So…hold on tight!

________

TWINS

There’s two to wash, there’s two to dry
There’s two that argue, there’s two who cry

One’s in the mud having a ball
The other holds a crayon, another marked wall

Some days seem endless
My patience wears thin
Why was I chosen to be a mother of twins?

The answer comes clear at the end of each day
As I tuck them in bed, I say to myself:
There’s two to kiss
There’s two to hug
But best of all there’s two to love
~MultipleBirthParents.com